Criminal Minds. Hotch/Emily fanfiction.

He'd never been 更多 miserable in his life, there was no possibility that it could get any worse than this. He'd tried eating, he'd tried sleeping, and he'd tried just about everything that didn't involve thinking about her. But nothing worked. He kept flashing back to that moment, to the lights of the taxi cab slowly fading in the darkness. Further and further away. He ignored the nagging feeling in his inside, ignored the urge to grab her and 吻乐队(Kiss) her senseless. He became his usual stoic self again and held everything in. He'd never told her, there were so many things that he should've said. And waiting on the right moment to tell her had changed to watching her slip away.

Why didn't anything ever go as planned, why couldn't fate just be gentle to him, for once? Of course it wasn't fate that had driven Emily away from him, no. It had been his lack of talent for revealing his feelings. To anyone he might seem to be a cold man, and in some aspects, he considered, he was. But to the people who know him, really knew him, he wasn't such a cold hearted men. And he'd thought they'd all know about his mask. The mask that rarely, if not never, went off. Because the 分钟 he let it fade, the 分钟 he revealed himself completely, he became vulnerable. It was a feeling he hated, absolutely, truly hated. He didn't tell anyone how he felt; he didn't 显示 affection as easily as others might. At least not with words. He bought flowers, made dinners; he just squeezed her hand whenever he was happy with something. But never would he tell her with words what went on inside of him. But he knew that at some point, that wasn't going to be enough. Because it didn't bring certainty, it didn't scream 'We'll be together till the end of time'. And although he wasn't one for fairy tales, he knew it would make sure of a future, together.

So, although he wasn't one for words, it was time to step up and gain back what he'd lost. Everything necessary wouldn't be too much. And that's why Aaron Hotchner found himself in front of the door of one Emily Prentiss, trying to muster up the courage to knock. "Emily?" he softly spoke, not wanting to wake anyone else in the building. He knocked a 秒 time. "Emily, I know you're in there." He heard a brushing of clothes as someone on the other side of the door moved away from it. He knew Emily was running, running away from him. "Emily, 你 know I have a key. But I'm not going to use it unless 你 won't let me in. We need to talk tonight, Em." When he didn't hear anymore movement, he assumed she wasn't planning on opening the door. And against all his values of privacy, he used the key she'd 给 him. A key that was meant for emergencies. 'Well,' he thought to himself 'I'm seeing this as an emergency'.

He made his way through the hallway, walking into the living room. It was empty. He walked towards the stairs and quietly made his way up. 'Bedroom, bathroom 或者 study?' He figured he could rule out the study, considering it had no lock on the door. 'Bedroom it is.' He pulled the door handle down and looked around the room. Another Empty one. 'On to the bathroom then.' Closing the bedroom door, he turned and walked to the other end of the hallway where another door was placed. He saw the red sign and knew it was locked, so he laid his ear against the door and listened. He heard nervous breaths being taken, and knew Emily was in there. "Emily," he whispered "Please, open the door." His voice sounded far too emotional for his liking. When there was, again, no movement on the other side he considered another approach.

He laid his forehead against the door and searched for words. "This is not one of my strong qualities Emily, so 熊 with me. I miss you, and it's taking a toll on me." He inhaled deep to steady his nerves. "I constantly see your eyes every time I close mine. And every morning I wake up, I anticipate your warm body curled into mine. And every morning it all comes back. I've been so stupid, Em. I've gambled away everything we had. And I should've told 你 so much sooner, But I …" He hesitated for a second, but tried to push away all the doubts as hard as he could hit them. "I 爱情 you, Emily Elizabeth Prentiss." He heard a small gasp coming from the other side of the door, and he knew he had to continue now. "I mean it Em, and I've been a foolish man to keep it from you." Slowly the door opened and deep brown eyes searched his, desperately looking for any sign of deceit. But all she could find was deep, utter honesty. She tried to speak, opening and closing her mouth, but no sound came out. Hotch's lips quirked, noticing how taken aback she was. He lifted his hand to stroke her tear streaked face. "You didn't deserve all that, and if you'll let me I'll happily make it up to you." He saw in her eyes that he'd gotten through to her and slowly he brought his face closer to hers, giving her the choice to make the last step. And slowly, very slowly she did. He felt absorbed with the sensation of her soft lips on his. God, how he'd missed this.

They still had so much to work on, like the ability to speak to each other about things that mattered. But all that was left to do now was to wonder, wonder why for Pete's sake he'd waited so long to tell her? And as they pulled apart again, he smiled. He might be a coward when it comes to his feelings. But in the end, it would all be worth it.