(Spin-off of the Card 表 Dating skit 由 Richard Jeni)

I say when 你 meet your other self 你 don't want a 晚餐 table, what 你 want is a card table! A 1p and a 2p meet up at a card table, write all their emotional problems on little cards, and take turns slappin' em on the 表 and being honest. First time they're scheduled to meet, the first guy's got his card, he goes:

2p: "Hello it's nice to meet you, my name is Oliver, and I'm a baker!"

1p: "Hello, my name is Arthur, and I'm a WiZaRD!"

2p: "Uh, okay then... Well, my turn-"

1p: "I used to lock my brother in the closet when he was three!"

2p: "... My brother came out of the closet when he was four."

Both: *awkward staring*

2p: "Well I can't have an orgasm unless I'm on top."

1p: "I can't have an orgasm unless I'm on cRAck!"

2p: "... Alright, listen now... I have an imaginary friend that's a flying bunny."

1p: "YOU KNOW FLYING MINT BUNNY!?"

2p: "... I'm neurotic, I need to see other people."

1p: "I'm schizophrenic- I aM OtHer pEOpLE!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!"

2p: "Okay...um, I'm just gonna... go now, see 你 poppet!"

((Note: ...Don't. Don't even ask. I thought it was funny. ... That is all.))