哈利·波特与暮光之城 Club
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(Warning: Lots of swearing. Sorry, but it's the only way to get my point across.)

Okay, let's get this over with- THE CULLENS ARE NOT FUCKING VAMPIRES. I don't know what the hell they are, but they are not vampires.

Sunlight: A vampire cannot go into the sunlight, as they will burn. There are a few exceptions though; In Romania, there are special vamps called Moroi, Dhampirs, and Strogoi (e.g. Vampire Academy). Also, 吸血鬼 could wear special magical jewellry that can let them go out in the sunlight (e.g. Vampire Diaries, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel).

In Twilight, there is none of this. In fact, the 吸血鬼 do this fucked-up thing where they sparkle like glitter-glue 或者 Colgate toothpaste. Bram Stoker is crying in his grave.

Yes, it sure was, to put it nicely, original, but Twilight completely disregarded hundreds of years of mythology!

Let's say that 你 became a legendary creature thingy called an... Andie. At first, there are hundreds of stories about 你 being an awesome Doctor Who 粉丝 and the only Fanpopper who can pull off taking pictures with Redvines. But then this awful amateur writer writes this fucked-up fanfic about you... I don't know, liking Miley Cyrus. Would 你 be offended? I think yes. Especially when hundreds of teens worldwide will go, "I WANNA BE AN ANDIE!!!!! I LIKE MILEY CYRUS!!!!"

吸血鬼 Living Forever: 吸血鬼 DO NOT FUCKING LIVE FOREVER. Seriously, when did people get that shit in their heads?

吸血鬼 are dead - well, the correct term is undead. One vampire goes and sucks the life out of some 随意 human. Then he gives some of his creature-of-the-night blood to the human. The human is then a vampire. I do not see how 你 can be 'living' when 你 have no heartbeat.

吸血鬼 not having fangs: Meyer described the Cullens as not having fangs. ... the fuck?

吸血鬼 DO have fangs. Otherwise, how can they survive? Idiot.

KTHXBAI!!! :D
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