哈利·波特与暮光之城 Article: How To End Breaking Dawn in 18 easy steps! (Blog Post 由 Vladimir of Romania)

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How To End Breaking Dawn in 18 easy steps! (Blog Post 由 Vladimir of Romania)

posted by anydaynow

If I were to write “Breaking Dawn” (minus the part of the Volturi getting arrested 由 the police), here’s how it would go:

1. Bella beats up Jake for imprinting on her daughter

2. Volturi get word about Renesmee’s birth and rush off to Forks, bringing an entire army with them

3. Cullens get allies and several people who just flat-out hate the Volturi.

4. 狼 get in on it

5. Big battle ensues and several allies (like Tanya and Rosalie) die

6. Renesmee runs away and hides and Jacob follows her

7. Alice and Jasper 显示 up with SEVERAL half-breeds

8. Volturi freaks out; one fathered a half breed

9. Cullens and allies beat them and kill them

10. Cullens are now the new Volturi; and they rule long and everyone is happy. Plus they change the laws and sign peace treaties with werewolves. 吸血鬼 everywhere are happy.

11. Renesmee falls in 爱情 with a half-breed and breaks Jacob’s heart. He is forced to hook up with Leah, but she later abandons him and their children.

12. Stephan and myself return to Forks and infiltrate the Cullens from the inside.

13. We convince Jacob to go to Egypt and reveal himself to the humans.

14. Amun thinks he's the head honcho of the Middle East, so he'll take care of the mutt.

15. Bella becomes depressed and runs away to Egypt to be killed also.

16. Edward's not far behind.

17. The Cullens crumble and we seize power.

18. Well, they all lived happily ever after.
So now 你 know!

comments:
barbierose[/b[: well, that’s interesting! but where do I come in?
[b]dracula1: Tell me, blond one. Do 你 know how to drown a blond?
barbierose: SHUT UP!
alphawannabe: ouch! 你 made Jacob turn into a wuss!
she-wolf: only because he was an idiot.
vampdoctor: well, too bad for Aro; I wished he and I remained friends.
she-wolf: like you’d ever be 老友记 with that viper!
gay4Carlisle: but we are friends! aren’t we, Carlisle?
(everyone else has logged off)
gay4Carlisle: but why does everyone have to leave me hanging whenever I 显示 up?
redeyed: because we’re seen as the bad guys.
stillmourningforDidyme: and nobody even likes us!
gay4Carlisle: but that’s not fair! we get beaten and THEY get to take over! I don’t think that’s cool!
redeyed: Marcus, did 你 father any children?
stillmourningforDidyme: ok, ok! so I did! what’s the big deal?
redeyed: just checking.

CREDITS
brbierose - Rosalie Hale
dracula1 - Vladimir
alphawannabe - Paul Lahote
she-wolf - Leah clearwater
vampdoctor - Carlisle Cullen
gay4Carlisle - Aro
redeyed - Caius
stillmourningforDidyme - Marcus

Allies57, VampiresRevenge and 3 others like this

alexisn10 I actually like this waaaay better than the original ending. I'm loving the Cullens becoming the new Volturi and I LOVE Jacob and Leah! :D

cassie-1-2-3 That's so sad. Poor Jacob.

SuperNerd123 I would have liked it better if the volturi kills all the cullens in the battle, and bella sue, edward, renesmee and everyone else die slow painful deaths, and the volturi then takes over the world (with no one left to stop them), but your ending is still better than SMeyer's

tsmith120 I prefer the ending when, years from now when time travel is invented, the Terminator reads this book series and goes back in time to kill the author. Or the publisher. Or just finds some way of STOPPING THIS CRAP SERIES BEING SHOWN TO HUMANS IN THE FIRST PLACE!!!!

RyanDawnset-40 How about this? There's secretly an ancient clan of vampires who lose their power in the sun. These guys hear about these upstart Cullens and wage a cold war on them, murdering as many as they can before the Cullens find out! Then, when they do find out, they meet the ancients in a battle(At night, to add suspense because they can only fight for so long before dawn) and fight from dusk until nearly dawn, with both sides suffering massive casualties... You know what, I should just write a fanfic with this ending.

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First Deathly Hallows Epilogue 照片

added by narniafreak12

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My reasons for liking Harry Potter 更多 than Twilight

posted by ariba_c

This is how I feel about HP vs. Twilight. Twilight 粉丝 feel free to state your own opinion but I would prefer no one fights. These are my opinions and everyone is entitled to their own.

I know there are many of these 文章 on here but this is my own and wanted to share it. Sorry about how long it is! And please excuse any typos!

1. The character have personalities and depth. They grow and change and even minor characters are so complex
-Dobby: Dobby was a house elf that belonged to the Malfoy family. At great risk to himself, he tried to keep Harry from danger 由 attempting to persuade him...

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Why HP is better than Twilight

posted by ariba_c

I DID NOT WRITE THIS. IT IS JUST BEING COPIED AND PASTED.

First of all- Harry Potter isn’t just a childish bedtime story. Nor is it shallow. A story based off a single dream has no depth. Twilight 粉丝 will never what kind of man James was before he turned vampire. Rowling, however, spent 15 years planning every little detail. She created a world within our own for her witches and wizards. She has based their heritage off of real mythology and history. Their spells are in a dead language and they have organized governments with strict laws. She has followed her characters’ stories from...

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Synopsis of Twilight 粉丝 violence: then and now.

posted by traceyhp

Before the twilight 粉丝 began a riot at a hot topics.

Before the twilight fans began a riot at a hot topics.

Twilight is a best-selling, 邪恶力量 teen romance series containing the events of a human (Bella), a vampire (Edward), and a werewolf (Jacob)situations in Forks, WA as the 图书 progress. It has attracted a significantly high fan-base and it's 电影院 grossed to over $700 million box-office. Much of the saga's acclaims range from young 粉丝 of the 图书 and movies, all the way to the current President of the United States. Such acclaim is also met with the negativity of the public that are against the over-all plots and messages from the saga itself. The conflicts of interests towards the...

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Some ways in which Twilight doesn't make sense

posted by hpotterforever7

Ok, some of this is opinion, some is fact, so don't critisize it because it is my opinion. And don't be rude in the 评论 section!

1. If the Cullens are "vampire's" that don't burn in the sun, don't drink blood, young, rich, immortal and beautiful, then why are they in Forks, Washington!? In HIGH SCHOOL!?

2. 你 say this story is about a Vampire, Werewolf and Human. I won't disagree with the human part, but the Cullens are NOT vampires. They don't drink blood, they don't die from a stake to the heart, they don't burn in the sun, and they don't have fangs. Jacob isn't a werewolf. He doesn't...

I Would Like To Be... Hermione Granger

posted by DivyaHarry

Intelligence, I was not born with. Talent, minimal. Endurance, plenty. I wish I could be a Hermione Granger. The world is a cruel place for a woman and a brainy one at that. The close I come to is a Ron Weasley.

Hermione, from her introduction, comes off as a snooty know-it-all. An outcast who never gets along with anybody because she knows too much. But as we 移动 on in the series she becomes the strongest pillar of the trio. She thrives on competition and always comes on top. Being a muggle-born and to be accepted into the wizard-world she faces discrimination and isolation from many but...

2

The Name Origins of Harry Potter Villains

posted by KateKicksAss

Credit: f***yeahslytherin.tumblr.com
I found these fascinating, thought 你 guys might too, :)

Bellatrix - “Bella” is a construct of the word “bellum” meaning “war” and “trix” refers to “a woman in power.” Bellatrix is therefore known as the “Female Warrior” and is also the pale yellow 星, 星级 indicating the left shoulder of the constellation Orion, the Great Hunter.

Blaise - Blaise was the teacher of Merlin. From the Roman name Blasius, which means “lisping.” From the Latin “blaesus.” A famous bearer was Blaise Pascal, a French mathematician and philosopher.

Draco...

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Why Harry Potter is waaaaaaaay better than Twilight.

posted by RavenclawRocks

OK, there are millions of people who write thest kind of articles, but please try and control your patience, and read this.

The Love
Harry Potter has love. Not lust.
Hermione didn't stare and Ron and say "OMG he is soooo hot, I am in love" no, Hermione and Ron started of as hating each other. Halfway through their first 年 they became friends. In HBP and DH they both started getting feelings for each other. They 爱情 each other for who they are. That is real love. Twilight on the other hand has no real love. Bella and Edward fall in 爱情 with each other, they kiss, Bella gets pregnant. ALL THIS...

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Yes, they sparkle. Deal with it.

posted by KateKicksAss

One thing I've noticed in general is that anti's tend to make a pretty big deal out of the Twilight 吸血鬼 sparkling. I've seen people saying things like real 吸血鬼 don't sparkle, 吸血鬼 not sparkling was a fact, and that it was gay of them to sparkle. Okay, of ALL the things to criticize in Twilight, people are going after the SPARKLING? Seriously?

First off, at least where I'm from, calling something “gay” as an insult is considered really rude and distasteful. Besides being rude and homophobic, it's also generalizing and stereotyping. Just because something sparkles doesn't make...

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The Secret Life of Edward Cullen Part 11: The Epic Final Battle of Epic Epicness

posted by siriuslyawesome

Whoa. Its the final battle already? It seems like this all started a week ago....which it did....so...yeah.
NOTE: I am a Twilight fan, so do not suggest that I think all Twilight 粉丝 are crazy. I also think HP is better than Twilight, though. Just a little.
NOTE:I like HP and T, I am not trying to make fun of either, I'm just having fun with some of the ideas.
NOTE: okay, I'm just putting this note in to build suspense.
NOTE: This is it. The big one. The end. The last one. The one and only. The awesome one. The one that is the end. The climatic one. The one that, if 你 do not read, will send...

Regarding this spot and the 最近的 decrease of fun - a disorganised rant

posted by Quaila

I was typing up an response to iluvtwilight_ for my personal enjoyment when someone reported the 问题 and had it removed. I felt much frustration as what was once a very entertaining activity was reduced to pointlessness. This makes an already depressed person like me 更多 depressed. Siriusly, I want to committ suicide now...

No, I don't... not yet. But I considered leaving for a brief moment.
But to address this problematic issue. I present: link. O.o What's this? Wikipedia has a specific project devoted to adding humour to the site? OMG, on such a serious site?

Yes, even on such a serious...

Why Harry Potter is better than Twilight

posted by Love4Hermione

So Harry Potter is MUCH better than some stupid book about wimpy girls and sparkly fairies. First off:
ALL the Twilight people are UGLY! I mean seriously, Taylor Lautners muscles are gross and he has ugly man-boobs. He looks like a creep on steroids. and Robert Pattison looks like a bum, and Kristen looks like a drug aggict as Bella. I mean, EW! Who wants to watch a movie with eyesores like them? Harry Potter is WAY better, I mean we have HOT guys, and the girls aren't half bad either! I mean. we have Lucius, Draco, Sirius, and Snape to say the LEAST! Plus like a zillion other eye-candy dudes!...

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Discussion regarding Twilight 吸血鬼 and reply to Drisina

posted by Aquilia

Discussion regarding Twilight 吸血鬼 and reply to Drisina at link

First Part:
The thing is Drisina, one cannot 由 fiat change a legend to whatever one very well pleases with. 吸血鬼 have been in mythology from the 17th century, e.g. Countess Elizabeth Bathory who alledgedly drank her female servants blood to stay young.

So what Stephenie Meyer does is that she takes the vampire-myth, and discards the gorier details and imperfections, replaces them with what she thinks they should be and et voila, we have Edward Cullen.

Now I shall dissect why most people think its a bad thing to do. Recall...

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The Death Eaters vs The Volturi

posted by harrypotterbest

The Volturi and The Death Eaters have a lot in common. This 文章 points out the features of The Death Eaters that the Volturi seem to have as well.
Before I begin, 你 have to remember that The Death Eaters were here first – so the Volturi copied them, not the other way around. Now, the leaders of the Volturi are –unless I’m very much mistaken – Aro, Marcus, and Caius. The leader of The Death Eaters is Lord Voldemort.
The Dark Lord can perform Legilemency, which is rather like mind reading, whatever Snape says. Aro can read minds too. The Dark Lord needs eye contact, Aro needs a...

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Severus Snape

posted by harrypotterbest

Severus Snape. The man we all hated. Then loved. Then went back to hating. And then we positively loathed him. But, after, we found out hi story. And, when we knew the truth, what did we feel? Love.
Yes, we ended up loving Severus Snape. Because, once we knew HIS side of the story, it was clear.
Snape had a difficult childhood, which probably led to his disturbed adulthood. But we knew nothing about this until we read The Deathly Hallows. And after we found out, found out exactly what he had suffered through, our emotions changed. Snape is one of the deepest characters in Harry Potter, and...

"Harry Potter vs Twilight" a suggestion

posted by elderwand

It’s been a while since i am here in this Harry Potter vs Twilight community. Now, being a die hard Harry Potter 粉丝 my vote always go for the same, but I feel 由 criticizing any of the two of them is insulting the world of story writing. I give it a thought why this whole Harry Potter vs Twilight thing is started and all that comes to me is a memory of mine. At some point I liked Twilight (though not as much as I am obsessed with Harry Potter). Then one 日 I had an argument with a friend of mine & naturally I sided with Harry Potter but hearing illogical criticism turned me against...

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A non-Twilight 粉丝 Speaks!

posted by Blueeyes99

Ok, time for the other side of the story, in other words, time for another interview with a Twilight “hater”. Her name is Izabella, aka: venvargie! Let’s get started!

Could 你 introduce yourself please!

Hah, okay well I'm Izabella. But I usually go 由 Ven on the interwebz. I'm turning 16 in a few months and I don't watch a lot of TV so I don't have a 最喜爱的显示 xD.

What is it that 你 hate about Twilight?

Well, I hate the sparkling thing the most. Growing up, I watched all kinda of scary vampire 电影院 with my older brother and they were always the kind that died in the light and vanted...

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A Very Silly Harry Potter Quiz!

posted by Mrs-Grint

Heellooooo!!!! I'm feeling rather 随意 today so I thought I'd take a leaf out of Emma's rather large, leather bound book and do a stupid Harry Potter quiz. It's not actually a story, just a 随意 collection of letters put together to form a 随意 collection of words which will, in turn, provide a 随意 collection of potentially amusing sentences. So, enjoy my little freaks!!!
Beware: If 你 have no sense of humour: DO NOT ENTER!!!
PS. I decided to post this on this spot as well as the HP one because everyone seems so mad at the opposition so I thought they might need a laugh :)

Read the...

JEJEMONS..!

posted by snapeislove

The "jejemon" mania is spreading in my country like mad.

I am a Filipino and Im getting really upset because almost half of the 'jejemon' population is in my country. Even my 老友记 greet me through text messages '.,inN DisZ qKinD oFv m4nN3Rr.,' and Im now confused if they're simply Twihards 或者 just some bunch of lunatics. I am also sad because when I 搜索 what 'jejemon' means it always come up with explanations that involve my country, am I gonna deny that I am a Filipino? will I curse them all because they're all proud of it? will I beg them to stop the stupidity? I know my options will...

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What's Wrong With Twilight Part 1: New Moon Review

posted by LilysLittleTwin

New Moon Review

“…she [Stephanie Meyer] can’t write worth a darn. She’s not very good…” ~ Stephen King

And frankly, I agree. Stephanie Meyer, 作者 of the Twilight series, has gotten her share of criticism, but also many undeserved raving fans. I’m going to take a closer look at her 秒 book in this series, New Moon.
New Moon Is quite possibly the just all-around worst book in the series, and I will tell 你 why.

One, Edward leaves Bella, and she turns into a zombie-like wreck. She abandons all of her friends, instead focusing what little personality she has on hatred for Edward...