Song: link
Sean: *Blows his horn as he passes Kevin and Liam with a passenger train*
Liam: Thanks for taking me out here Kevin. This is awesome.
Kevin: I knew you'd like this place.
Master Sword: *Eating an 苹果 as he trips Wayne*
Wayne: Hey! 你 did that on purpose!
Master Sword: No I didn't. Honest. *An angel's halo appears over his head*
Duck: The final segment of this week's 显示 is starting.
Mr. Nut: Indeed it is. I'm Mr. Nut from The Nut House, and I'm your host on this fine evening. We have On The Block, and Ponies On The Rails for 你 excellent people. Enjoy.
Welcome to the block. And now for your hosts, Master Sword, and Tom Foolery.
Audience: *Cheering, clapping, and whistling*
Master Sword & Tom Foolery: *Standing in front of a house*
Master Sword: Today is the first 日 of Summer, and-
Tom: Hold it!
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: Today is not the first 日 of Summer. That will happen this Sunday.
Master Sword: Oh. Right.
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: Today's crossover parody, Mean Equestria Girls.
Audience: *Laughing*
Master Sword: Twilight gets called a slut, even though Rarity is the slut.
Audience: *Laughing, and clapping*
Mean Equestria Girls
Starring everyone as theirselves.
Twilight: *Enters the human world with Spike*
Spike: What happened to us?
Twilight: *Talks in her normal voice* I don't know.... wait a second. I NO LONGER HAVE THE VOICE OF A BLACK MAN!!!
Audience: *Booing*
Spike: Don't worry, she'll get it back after this parody is finished.
Audience: *Laughing*
Twilight: *Enters the school* Spike, get over here!
Spike: *Runs to Twilight*
It was lunchtime, so they went to the cafeteria.
Twilight: Where do we sit?
Spike: I don't know.
Teacher: Sorry kid, but there are no pets allowed. *Taking Spike away*
Twilight: This is the worst 日 of my life.
Audience: *Laughing*
Twilight: *Sits with Adagio, Sonata, and Aria*
Adagio: Welcome to the Dazzlings.
Sonata: I thought we were called The Plastics.
Aria: No, that's in Mean Girls. This is Mean Equestria Girls.
Audience: *Laughing*
Adagio: Shut up Aria, you're such a bitch.
Audience: *Laughing*
After lunch, Twilight sat 下一个 to Applejack, and Big Macintosh in math.
Applejack: I saw 你 sittin' with the Dazzlings.
Twilight: I thought they were called The Plastics.
Audience: *Laughing*
Big Macintosh: Eenope.
One boring story later
Audience: *Laughing*
Adagio: You're a bitch.
Twilight: No, you're a bitch.
Adagio: You're a bigger bitch.
Audience: *Laughing*
Twilight: At least I'm not concerned about my weight!
People: Oooh, burn!!!
Audience: *Laughing*
Adagio: Well you're a fugly slut! *Running across the street*
Bus Driver: *Runs over Adagio*
Audience: *Laughing*
Twilight: Okay, that didn't really happen, but I wish it did.
Audience: *Laughing*
Twilight: And, who uses fugly nowadays? I mean, come on.
Audience: *Laughing, and clapping*
The End
On the 下一个 part of this episode, Tom, and Double Scoop look at advertisements on the internet.
Theme Song: link
Master Sword: Come on Tom, let's go meet the others.
Tom: Right behind you.
Double Scoop: *Standing on 街, 街道 corner*
Aina: *Runs out of her house*
Sunny: Hey, wait for me. *Flying in the middle of the street*
Saten Twist: *Polishing his chain saw, but stops to go meet the others*
Pleiades: *Arrives at corner*
Mortomis: *Standing 下一个 to Double Scoop*
Tom: 更多 ponies!!
Snow Wonder: *Arrives in a brand new Corvette*
Cosmic Rainbow: *Flies from the clouds*
Heartsong: *Climbs out of a manhole*
Annie: *Arrives on a bicycle*
Blaze: *Flies out of a house window, and lands 下一个 to Tom*
Sophie Shimmer: *Gets off of a slow moving bus*
Astrel Sky: *Appears out of nowhere with magic*
Sean: *Lands behind Astrel Sky with a parachute*
All: We live together on the block!
Audience: *Clapping*
Announcer: Okay, stop the song! We need to keep this thing rolling.
Audience: *Laughing*
Episode 21: Advertisements Don't Belong On The Internet
Double Scoop was invited to Tom's house.
Tom: Hey, glad 你 could make it.
Double Scoop: Thanks. So, what are we going to do first?
Tom: Well, there is this racing game I want to 显示 你 on the internet.
Double Scoop: Oh, I'm not into racing.
Tom: Why not?
Double Scoop: Because I always have trouble shifting gears.
Tom: 你 always choose automatic with your transmission.
Audience: *Laughing*
Double Scoop: Oh.
Tom: I think you'll like this game. 你 don't have to shift gears. All 你 gotta do, is drive, and that's all.
Double Scoop: Okay. I'm ready.
They go up to Tom's room.
Tom: *Goes on his laptop* Okay, give me a 秒 to get onto the website that the game is on.
Double Scoop: Alright.
Tom: *Gets onto the website, but a big advertisement appears on the screen*
Advertisement Pony: New from SeanTheHedgehog Productions, it's the Ponies On The Rails Drag Racing Playset.
Double Scoop: I hate advertisements!
Tom: No shit.
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: Everyone hates them. *Refreshes the page* Hopefully, that's the last one we ever see.
But he was wrong. Another advertisement appeared.
Audience: *Laughing*
Advertisement Pony: 蜘蛛 Stallion is back. He must save Manehattan from The Sandman before things get out of hoof.
Tom: Too bad.
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: *Refreshes the page*
Double Scoop: Are 你 sure refreshing the page gets rid of advertisements?
Tom: It's worked before, yeah. *Sees another advertisement* What the hell?!!?
Audience: *Laughing*
Advertisement Pony: Hello, 你 have just recieved another advertisement, brought to 你 由 Spamdex.
Double Scoop: Oh no.
Audience: *Laughing*
Advertisement Pony: Spamdex is a wonderful company that constantly sends 你 advertisements, which can...
Annoy 你
Make your time on the internet completely useless
And cost 你 money. In fact, we collect one dollar from you, for every 秒 the advertisement plays.
Advertisement Pony: The best thing about all of this is that we can send 你 a virus, which prevents 你 from getting rid of any of the advertisements we send you. Is it illegal? Who cares? We'll do it anyway.
Audience: *Laughing*
Advertisement Pony: Spamdex, the ultimate advertisement sender.
Tom: I give up. *Turns off his laptop*
Double Scoop: I have 迷失 all faith in ponies.
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: They put a virus on this thing. I need to get a new laptop. *Looks at the audience* Coming up 下一个 is Celebrity Jeopardy. Don't go away.
Our cast for this Celebrity Jeopardy skit is
Saten Twist - Alex Trebek (He wears a white wig, a fake white mustache, and his cutie mark has been changed to a game 显示 wheel.)
Sean the hedgehog as himself (He's a famous war hero.)
Bulk Biceps as 阿黛尔
and Fancy Pants as Keanu Reeves
Alex: Welcome back to Celebrity Jeopardy. It's been an exciting first round, now let's take a look at the scores. Sean the hedgehog has set a new Jeopardy record with negative $235,000.
Audience: *Laughing*
Sean: Suck on it Trebek.
Audience: *Cheering*
Sean: Suck it long, and suck it hard.
Audience: *Clapping* Woo hoo!!!
Alex: that's beautiful. Do 你 吻乐队（Kiss） your mother with that mouth?
Sean: No, but I did something to your grand daughter with it.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Why?
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Keanu Reaves has an impressive negative $32,000.
Keanu: I know kung fu.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: For the last time, no 你 don't.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: And finally, 阿黛尔 in a commanding lead with zero.
Audience: *Laughing*
Adele: Did I win? Because there's some ponies I need to thank.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Let's just take a look at the board. And the categories are..
POTENT POTABLES
FOREIGN FLICKS
Things Trebek Sucks
Alex: Wait-
Audience: *Cheering*
Sean: HAHAHAHA!!!!
Audience: *Clapping*
Alex: Alright. *Gets rid of the Things Trebek Sucks category* Let's continue.
POTPOURRI
HOT 或者 COLD?
WHAT EARS DO
IS THIS A HAT?
Alex: That's when I name an object, and 你 tell whether, 或者 not, it's a hat.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: And finally,
颜色 THAT END IN URPLE
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Adele, you're in the lead, so we'll start with you.
Adele: I'm a mare 你 know.
Audience: HHHAAAAA!! *Clapping*
Alex: Let's just go with Foreign Flicks for 800.
Sean: *Rings in* Rarity.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: What?
Sean: Rarity, Penelope Cruz, and Kristin Kreuk.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: *Looks at Foreign Flicks. All of the letters are upper case, and the L, and I look like a U* That's foreign flicks Mr. The Hedgehog.
Audience: *Clapping*
Alex: FOREIGN. FLICKS. Mr. Reeves, why don't 你 pick?
Keanu: I shall take balloons for 800 if 你 please.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: That's not a category.
Keanu: My mistake, I shall choose balloons for 600.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: I'll tell 你 what, let's just do 颜色 that end in urple, for 800.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: This color ends in urple.
Adele: *Rings in*
Alex: Adele?
Adele: What is Light Urple?
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: *Rings the wrong answer buzzer* Wow.
Keanu: *Rings in*
Alex: Keanu Reeves?
Keanu: I will venture a guess. Who is Jaleel White?
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: What?
Keanu: Is that not the gentlecolt who played Steve Urple, the humorous fellow who wears glasses, and loves cheese?
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: That's Urkle!
Sean: *Rings in*
Alex: Oh good, Mr. The Hedgehog wants to say something.
Audience: *Laughing*
Sean: I thought of some 更多 foreign mares I f**ked.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Let's just go to Hot 或者 Cold for 400.
Video Daily Double noises played.
Alex: And it's a video daily double. Here goes nothing, please take a look at your video monitors.
This song played while a 随意 小马 was holding a cup of tea: link
Audience: *Cheering*
随意 Pony: It's me, Eddie Murphy, I sang this song in 怪物史莱克 2.
Audience: *Clapping*
随意 Pony: In this cup is some hot tea. Hot hot hot! Watch. *Drinks, but burns his tongue* Yow!! Hot hot hot! So the answer is, hot hot hot! 或者 cold? Hot hot hot! 或者 cold? Come on! Hot hot hot!
The video ends.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: None of 你 knows?
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: No one can figure out whether the hot 茶 is hot, 或者 cold?
Audience: *Laughing*
Keanu: *Rings in*
Alex: Thank god, Keanu Reeves.
Keanu: Is it iced tea?
Alex: NO! It's hot tea!
Audience: *Laughing*
Keanu: Well then, I have no idea.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Let's just go to final jeopardy. The category is... oh come on, why would they do this?
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: The category is Famous Granddaughters.
Audience: *Laughing*
Sean: This is my lucky day!
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Not going to give 你 the satisfaction.
Sean: Aw!
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: The new category is anything. Write anything.
Final Jeopardy 音乐 started playing.
Alex: Just write. Use your pen, and arm, and 移动 the pen around with your arm.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Scribble if 你 want, just make, some kind of mark.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Okay, let's get this over with. Sean the hedgehog 你 wrote down, below. I don't know why 你 wrote that, but technically that's a correct answer. 你 did write something. Let's see what 你 wagered. Me.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Below me.
Audience: *Laughing*
Sean: HA!!
Audience: *Clapping*
Alex: Below me. I don't get it.
Sean: Oh 你 do 你 Canadian prick!
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: A proud 日 for you, and your family. Keanu Reeves, 你 look very pleased. Let's see what 你 wrote down. Nothing.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: The 问题 was write anything, and 你 got it wrong. I'm speechless.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Let's see what 你 wagered. Eleventy billion dollars.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: That's not even a real number.
Keanu: Yet.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Simply amazing. And finally, Adele.
Adele: Thanks Alex, I'm so honored to have been here. There's a lot ponies I have to thank. I couldn't have done it, without Alex Trebek, the incredible cast, and crew of Jeopardy, my agent who is always looking for ways to get me on the big screen.
Audience: *Laughing*
Adele: That's it.
Alex: Touching. That's it for Jeopardy. Good night.
Audience: *Clapping*
Coming up next, it's The Classroom.
The Classroom
Starring Snow Wonder as Ms. Schultz
Tom as Gary
Astrel Sky as Maria
Sunny as herself
Pleiades as Brianna
Double Scoop as James
Aina as Lauren
Today was just like any ordinary 日 at school. It was very boring.
Audience: *Laughing*
Gary: I don't know why we still have to go here, when most schools are already finished.
James: I heard the principal was high on something.
Gary: Typical.
Audience: *Laughing*
Gary: Ah well, at least Lauren isn't here.
Lauren: *Arrives*
Audience: *Laughing*
James: 你 spoke too soon man.
Lauren: Where's the teacher?
Gary: I don't know Lauren. Why don't 你 go look for her?
Lauren: Because we're not allowed to go around the halls unless we're heading to our 下一个 class.
Gary: I was being sarcastic.
Audience: *Laughing*
Ms. Schultz: *Arrives* Good morning everypony, sorry I'm late.
Gary: Don't apologize to us. Apologize to our parents that keep paying for this bullshit.
Audience: *Laughing*
Ms. Schultz: I want 你 all to know that our last 日 of school will be tomorrow.
Brianna: On a sunday?
Audience: *Laughing*
Ms. Schultz: Yes.
Gary: That raises another question. This is a Saturday. Why are we here?
Audience: *Laughing*
Ms. Schultz: We had so many snow days that our principal decided to have us come here on the weekends.
James: 你 know what? I'm not even coming here anymore. This is bullshit. *Leaves the classroom*
Later, everyone was working on vocab.
Lauren: *Farts*
Audience: *Laughing*
Gary: 耶稣 CHRIST!!
Ms. Schultz: Gary, watch your language.
Gary: I'm sorry, but Lauren smells too bad to be here. Send her to the nurse, and tell them that she has hygiene issues!
Ms. Schultz: I'm afraid I cannot do that.
Gary: *Angry* why not?
Ms. Schultz: The nurse planned to skip school just like your friend James.
Audience: *Laughing*
Gary: Well at least open a window, 或者 something!
Ms. Schultz: It's too humid outside.
Gary: Well then, f**k all of you, I'm not coming here anymore either. *Leaves*
Ms. Schultz: Sit.
Gary: Why?
Ms. Schultz: Your grades are pathetic. 你 have a 57 in Math, a 42 in English, a 12 in science...
Audience: *Laughing*
Ms. Schultz: ..An 18 in history, and a 4 in gym.
Audience: *Laughing, and clapping*
Maria: How is that possible?
Sunny: Failing gym is like not knowing how to turn on a light.
Audience: *Laughing*
Gary: I'll take my chances. 你 all suck. *Leaves*
Ms. Schultz: Well, it looks like he'll be a super senior.
Audience: *Laughing*
Up next, it's Princess Celestia.
Princess Celestia
Starring Celestia, Luna, Twilight, and Derpy as theirselves
Blaze as Jonathan (For this skit, he's bald.)
Cosmic 彩虹 as Chrysler (For this skit, he has a mustache.)
Mortomis as Bryan
Saten Twist as Timothy
Double Scoop as Skeletor
Master Sword as Harry
Sophie Shimmer as Alexis
Astrel Sky as Jenny
Derpy entered Celestia's office.
Derpy: It appears Twilight is up to her tricks again. What are your thoughts?
Celestia: I thought we were finally done with this nonsense. But I guess not. I was having a nice rest, now this! God only knows what kind of shenanigans she has in store this time-
A 50 weight fell on her head.
Audience: *Laughing*
Derpy: *Leaves the office, and takes a left into the hallway. She walks into another room, and looks at Twilight Sparkle* LMFAO.
Audience: *Laughing*
Later, Bryan met up with two Mexicans.
Mexican 小马 1: What's good?
Bryan: We're ready to commit antics again. I'm looking for the best firecrackers available.
Mexican 小马 1: Roman candles, bottle rockets, 樱桃 bombs, 或者 sparklers?
Bryan: Twilight told me 你 guys have a 密码 for "certain" firecrackers.
Certain is the password.
Mexican 小马 1: I think we can help you. *Walks with the 秒 Mexican pony* Get your 屁股 over here.
Mexican 小马 2: *Walks toward Mexican 小马 1*
Mexican 小马 1: *Opens a wardrobe*
Audience: *Laughing*
Mexican 小马 1: *Pushes Mexican 小马 2 into the wardrobe* They want firecrackers. Come back when 你 get them! *Closes the wardrobe*
Audience: *Laughing*
Back at the castle.
Celestia: *In the shower. Outside, several ponies are listening to her* It's been a long time since I've had a good shower. I feel like a brand new mare. I'll watch Twilight Sparkle like a hawk.
Derpy: *In the 淋浴 with Celestia* Should I start on your backside?
Audience: *Laughing*
Celestia: Make sure 你 get every last pore back there.
Audience: Ew! *Laughing*
Celestia: And no surprise reach arounds.
Audience: *Vomitting*
The sound of firecrackers could be heard in the shower.
Celestia: What?! What's going on?!?! There's firecrackers in here!!!!
Audience: *Laughing, and clapping*
Later.
Jonathan: So the princess had a mishap in the 淋浴 this morning.
Chrysler: It's been two weeks since the last antic Twilight pulled on Celestia.
Jonathan: Things were very peaceful in those two weeks. Now who put the firecrackers in Celestia's shower?
Twilight: Man, it was me 你 idiot.
Audience: *Laughing*
Chrysler: Why would you-
Twilight: I started a Yo Mamma contest.
Audience: *Laughing*
Harry: Surely, 你 wouldn't do something that juvenile.
Twilight: I am.
Jonathan: *Angry* A Yo Mamma contest?! 你 couldn't think of something clever?
Twilight: Man, it was either dat, 或者 fondles for charity.
Audience: *Laughing*
Harry: Let me take one good guess, it's just a cover. You're really planning a larger antic!
Twilight: No shit.
Audience: *Laughing*
Twilight: *Chewing on a piece of gum, and blows a really big bubble. It pops after hitting Harry* I'll need to borrow the kids around the bunker.
Meanwhile, in Celestia's office.
Celestia: *Looking at a portal that Derpy put on her wall*
Audience: *Laughing*
Celestia: What is that blue shit doing on my wall? Get that down from there! Explain your actions, right now! I can only assume Twilight sent 你 in here with that portal gun. How rude! Twilight is screwing with me again! *Stands up, and bangs on her desk* TWILIGHT!!
Audience: *Laughing*
Celestia: *Bangs on her desk* TWILIGHT!! *Bangs on her desk* TWILIGHT!!
Meanwhile in another part of Celestia's castle, colts, and fillies were running around a small room that had seven bunk beds.
Alexis: *Looking at the colts, and fillies* Quiet 你 brats!
Audience: *Laughing*
Colts & Fillies: *Be quiet*
Alexis: Gather around.
Colts & Fillies: *Get close to Alexis*
Alexis: As 你 all know, Princess Celestia just got her PS4, and now has Gran Turismo 6.
Colts & Fillies: Yay!!
Alexis: 你 want to play, right?
Colts & Fillies: Yeah.
Outside of Celestia's castle, and in the town of Canterlot, things were turning into shit.
Rich Ponies: *Pushing a trolley* We're rich. We shouldn't be doing this. That's why we invented slaves!
Audience: *Laughing, and clapping*
Old Stallion: *Looking at teenage ponies working on an anti aircraft gun. One of them is his son*
10 年 Old Colt: *Angry at his dad* We're working on an antic here.
Old Stallion: How old are you? *Looks at colt* Twelve? *Looks at another colt* And you, thirteen? Aren't 你 lot too young to be playing pranks on the princess?
16 年 Old Stallion: So what if we are? Why do 你 care?
Old Stallion: Twilight has 你 brain washed.
16 年 Old Stallion: She asked us nicely to help. In return, she's giving us gummy bears.
Audience: *Laughing*
16 年 Old Stallion: You'd be a fool to turn down gummybears.
Audience: *Laughing*
Old Stallion: We had two weeks of peace, and quiet, and 你 kids are ruining it. The last thing we need is to have Celestia clawing her own eyes out.
15 年 Old Mare: We need our dose of lolz.
Audience: *Laughing*
Old Stallion: If 你 don't like reality, why don't 你 just run off to Pleasure Island?
10 年 Old Colt: Ugh, 你 suck! *Runs 100 miles an 小时 to Pleasure Island*
Audience: *Laughing*
Old Stallion: Okay then.. Fine. But if she finally loses her sanity, I'll know who to blame. *Walks away*
Back at Celestia's castle.
Chrysler: *Walks into a room, and looks at drunk Royal Guards* I don't have the patience for this, so let's get this over with. Your momma is so big, her shadow has it's own bedroom.
Audience: *Laughing*
Drunk Royal Guard: Your momma is so stupid, she got 迷失 at a supermarket, and starved to death.
Audience: *Laughing*
Later, Skeletor was ordering a 比萨, 比萨饼 with Jenny.
Skeletor: I want the entire 最佳, 返回页首 of the 比萨, 比萨饼 to be engulfed in anchovies. Olives are for dicks.
Timothy: *Walks into the room*
Skeletor: I'm sure I don't have to tell 你 where I am.
Audience: *Laughing*
Skeletor: Goodbye. *Hangs up, and walks to Timothy* 你 ready? Jenny, I want 你 to start 写作 this down. I want this verbal smackdown to be historical.
Jenny: *Gets paper, and a pencil ready*
Skeletor: *Looks at Timothy* Your mother finally let 你 out of the house?
Timothy: At least my mother actually has a house.
Audience: *Laughing*
Timothy: Your momma is so poor, she got evicted from a cardboard box.
Audience: *Laughing*
Skeletor: Your momma is so ugly, her 狗 have to take her for a walk every now, and again.
Audience: *Laughing*
Timothy: Your momma is so ugly, everypony goes trick 或者 treating as her yearbook photo.
Audience: *Laughing*
Skeletor: What about how bald your momma is? She makes Michael Jordan look like Zach Galifianakis.
Audience: *Laughing*
Skeletor: I looked at her scalp, and saw the future.
Timothy: *Stunned*
Skeletor: Yeah. Not much to say now, right? I'm running this show!
Audience: *Cheering, and clapping*
Timothy: *Walks away*
In Celestia's rant room.
Celestia: *Shouting* I can't believe you're all talking about my family!! Harry's mom is so stupid, she almost decapitated herself with a marshmallow!!!!!
Audience: *Laughing*
Harry: Your momma is so stupid she heard there were illegal aliens, and looked up for UFO's!
Audience: *Laughing*
Celestia: Your momma is hideous!!! She makes Sarah Jessica Parker look like The Mona Lisa!!
Audience: *Laughing*
Celestia: *Bangs her hoof on her desk* Who else?!!?
Everyone stayed silent.
At dinner.
Skeletor: Princess, that was some of the best ownage I've ever seen.
Celestia: Right now, I'm wondering what that clown was planning with all of those Yo Momma jokes going around the castle. I would have liked to insult her mother. She's the only one in the bunker I know that completely deserves it, but enough of these shenanigans.
Royal Guard: *Walks in with a package*
Celestia: The keys to my new Ford. *Takes the package* I heard the Focus was a really good model, so I bought one.
After dinner, Celestia was walking into her office when this happened.
Celestia: *Falls through a hole in the floor*
Audience: *Laughing*
Back at her office.
Celestia: That's it!! Send an extermination squad to kill her when she least expects it! Vengeance!! Annihilate that Twilight! *Stands up, and bangs on her desk* TWILIGHT!!
Audience: *Laughing*
Celestia: *Bangs on her desk* TWILIGHT!! *Bangs on her desk* TWILIGHT!!
In Ponyville.
Royal Guards: Twilight Sparkle, 你 are underarrest.
Twilight: Wuuuut?
Royal Guard: Orders from Celestia. She's pissed off, because 你 dug a hole in her room.
Twilight: Bite me. It was a bunch of kids that did it!
Audience: *Laughing*
Royal Guards: *Preparing their assault rifles*
Twilight: *Opens a portal on her chest* Gotcha!!!!
Royal Guards: *Shoot into the portal*
The bullets went through Celestia's 墙 where the other portal was placed.
Celestia: *Getting hit 由 the bullets*
Audience: *Laughing*
Celestia: That hurt like all hell.
Derpy: Should I go to the first aid kit, and get some band aids?
Audience: *Laughing*
Coming up next, enjoy the bloopers from this episode.
Blooper time.
Audience: *Cheering, and clapping*
Blooper song: link
Twilight: *Enters the human world with Spike*
Spike: What happened to us?
Twilight: *Talks in her normal voice* I don't know.... wait a second. I NO LONGER HAVE THE- *Coughs, and falls down*
Spike: Cut.
Director: 你 don't make the decisions!
Audience: *Laughing*
Take 2
Twilight: *Enters the human world with Spike*
Spike: What happened to us?
Twilight: *Talks in her black man's voice* I don't know.... Hey, I thought I was supposed to get my normal voice back!
Audience: *Laughing*
---
Tom: *Goes on his laptop* Okay, give me a 秒 to get onto the website that the game is on.
Double Scoop: Alright.
Tom: *Gets onto the website, but a big advertisement appears on the screen*
Advertisement Pony: New from SeanTheHedgehog Productions, it's the Ponies On The Rails Drag Racing Play set.
Double Scoop: Are we gonna skip this?
Tom: No, I wanna watch this.
Advertisement Pony: Meadow West gets her car, and races other ponies from the intersection to the railroad crossing. But watch out, Nikki is driving her train, and 你 do not want to crash into it. The Ponies On The Rails Drag Racing Play set. Comes with other ponies, other trains, and other cars, and 你 can also modify the town where they drag race.
---
Alex: Welcome back to Celebrity Jeopardy. It's been an exciting first round, now let's take a look at the scores. Sean the hedgehog has set a new Jeopardy record with-
Sean: Suck on it Trebek.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Wait for me to finish.
Sean: Oh, okay.
---
Alex: This color ends in purple, oh shit, I gave away the answer.
Audience: *Laughing*
---
Gary: Don't apologize to us. Apologize to our parents that keep paying for this bullshit. This 显示 sucks!
Audience: *Laughing*
Gary: Okay, not really. Sorry for saying that.
---
Mexican 小马 1: I think we can help you. *Walks with the 秒 Mexican pony* Get your 屁股 over here.
Mexican 小马 2: *Walks toward Mexican 小马 1*
Mexican 小马 1: *Tries to open the wardrobe*
Mexican 小马 2: Hurry up.
Mexican 小马 1: I'm trying to open it, but it's stuck.
Audience: *Laughing*
---
Chrysler: *Walks into a room, and looks at drunk Royal Guards* I don't have the patience for this, so let's get this over with. Your momma is so big, her shadow has it's own bedroom.
Royal Guard: She has her own shadow? I want my own shadow! Shadow is the best sonic character ever!!
Audience: *Laughing*
The End
Song: link
Mr. Nut: Wow. This is a 流行的 song. Our last 显示 for tonight is Ponies On The Rails.
Theme song >>>> link
Seanthehedgehog presents
The Season 3 Premiere of
Ponies On The Rails
Starring
Peirce Hawkins "Hawkeye" From Seanthehedgehog
Red Rose From Chibiemmy
Coffee Creme From KarinaBrony
Snowflake & Orion From Alinah09
Metal Gloss From DragonAura15
Stylo From Jimmythedragon
Gordon, Percy, Jeff, Bartholomew, and Pete from Seanthehedgehog
Episode 21
The Return Of Red Rose
April 30, 1953
It was a nice 日 in Cheyenne, but just when everypony was about to get their work assignments, Gordon arrived.
Gordon: Heil hitler!
Hawkeye: Oh great, world war 2 is still going on after all.
Pete: Gordon, explain this idiocracy!
Gordon: It's the 8th anniversary of Hitler's suicide, and I'm celebrating.
Hawkeye: 由 表演 like a Nazi?
Gordon: Yes! 你 have no honor for the glorious fuehrer.
Pete: And for that, 你 get to work in the train yard.
Gordon: Whatever *Walks away*
Hawkeye: Red Rose was the only 小马 that could make him stop with his stupid shenanigans.
Pete: You're right. 你 know what we need to do?
Hawkeye: Rehire her?
Pete: 你 read my mind, but we better hurry before Gordon causes 更多 damage.
But it was too late. Gordon went to where Stylo was, and planned to insult him.
Stylo: *Greasing wheels on train*
Gordon: *walks to Stylo* 你 sir are an ugly pony.
Stylo: (This guy has been annoying me for three months now) Gordon, why are 你 fat?
Gordon: I am a magnificent pony, ready for anything. 你 never see me ruining my good looks.
Stylo: Oh. Does 表演 like a Nazi, and getting suspended from work help 你 look magnificent?
Gordon: *Walks away*
Snowflake: *Arrives* Gordon, Pete changed your job. 你 have to take a slow freight into Omaha.
Gordon: It's great that I no longer have to work in this train yard, but why do I have to drive a slow freight?
Snowflake: I don't know. Ask Pete.
Gordon: I hate slow freight trains.
Snowflake: Slow freight trains hate you.
Gordon: Be quiet. *Goes to train* Even worse, I have to use a steam locomotive to pull this train. UGH!!!
Gordon got the train started out of the yard. His train only had a few freight cars, but he picked up 更多 along the way.
Meanwhile, Pete was calling Michael, the owner of the Southern Pacific.
Pete: Mike, I need your help with something.
Michael: What is it?
Pete: I was hoping 你 would let me have Red Rose back on my railroad.
Michael: I'll talk to her, and see if she wants to come back.
Pete: Alright.
Michael: Is there anything else 你 want to talk to me about? I want to catch the newest episode of Gilligan's Island.
Pete: No, that's all Michael. Thank 你 for your cooperation.
Michael: No problem. *Hangs up*
Pete: *Sighs* I really hope she's able to come back.
Back to Gordon, who was still driving his freight.
Gordon: *stops at station*
Coffee Creme: *Climbs in* I'm the firemare.
Gordon: Great. Yet another 小马 to antagonize me.
Coffee Creme: Ok. *Shoveling coal into firebox*
Gordon: *drives train*
At first, Gordon was paying attention to the train he was driving, but got careless as soon as he started thinking about Stylo.
Gordon: *Driving train up hill*
Coffee Creme: Heavy freight trains have to go slow downhill.
Gordon: *Not listening*
Coffee Creme: Gordon, slow down.
Gordon: *Forgets to put brakes on*
Their train soon started going very fast as soon as it went downhill. It was too late to apply the brakes now.
Coffee Creme: Great work 你 fool.
Gordon: Again with the antagonizing, stop it!
Coffee Creme: *Sees train in front of them* Ok *teleports out of train*
Gordon: What did she leave for? *Crashes into train*
Coffee Creme: *Sees damage* Oh Gordon. 你 had to crash into those tank cars, carrying tar.
The tar splashed onto the engine, and some even went into the cab, and landed on Gordon. He was 更多 dirty than hurt.
Back at Cheyenne
Orion: *stops streamlined passenger train at station*
Pete: *Waiting on platform*
Red Rose: *Walks out of train* Hi Pete.
Pete: Red Rose, so good to see 你 again.
Red Rose: Yeah, I guess so. What have I missed?
Pete: There's a 小马 你 haven't met named Stylo. 你 have to go with him, and clear the wreckage caused 由 Gordon.
Red Rose: Of course. Where is Stylo?
Pete: He's waiting for 你 at the train yards, with a breakdown train.
Red Rose: Ok, I'll go clear the mess with Stylo. *Goes to trainyard*
At the wreckage, Gordon stayed in his engine. He didn't want anypony seeing that he got covered in tar.
Red Rose: *Brings in breakdown train*
Coffee Creme: Red Rose, you're back.
Red Rose: Yeah, and I get to drive a train for once.
Stylo: *goes in cab* 嘿 Red Rose. Whoever is this dirty pony?
Red Rose: That's Gordon. Didn't 你 know?
Stylo: It looks like Gordon, but Gordon is a splendid pony. 你 never see his good looks being ruined.
Gordon: *Ignores them*
Coffee Creme: *Arrives* 你 can try, and get that tar off of you.
Gordon: I already tried. It didn't work.
Coffee Creme: That's a shame. 你 really should apologize to Stylo after what 你 说 to him.
Gordon: How do 你 know about that?
Coffee Creme: He told me.
Gordon: *Facehoof*
After the mess was cleared, Pete arrived.
Pete: Well done Stylo, Red Rose, and Coffee Creme. *Looks at Gordon* It's strange how 你 let a train roll downhill without the brakes on. I'm also surprised that 你 got tar on yourself. You're not fit to be seen, 你 must be cleaned at once.
Stylo: Will I be able to take over while Gordon is getting cleaned?
Pete: 你 got it.
Stylo: *Goes in engine*
Coffee Creme: *Follow Stylo*
As they drove away in the engine, Pete and Red Rose took Gordon back to Cheyenne. He was still covered in tar when they arrived.
Gordon: *Looking around* How am I going to get cleaned?
Pete: *Sees Water tower* I know just the trick.
Gordon: *Sees water tower* Oh no. 你 are not soaking me with water.
Pete: Yes we are. Unless 你 want to look ugly for the rest of your life.
Gordon: Ok, I'll do it. *Goes to water tower*
Pete: *Climbing tower*
Red Rose: *Watching*
Pete: *Pours water on Gordon*
Gordon: AH!! *Falls on ground*
Pete: *Laughing*
Red Rose: *Laughing*
Gordon: Now everypony is antagonizing me! *Runs away*
Pete: *Returns* I'm sorry 你 had to put up with him on your return.
Red Rose: Don't worry about it. It was fun. With Stylo around, things are going to be great.
The End
On the 下一个 episode of Ponies On The Rails
Korean war veterans want to ride the U.P
Song: link
Mr. Nut: Here's another 流行的 song.
Sean The Hedgehog: *Bouncing up and down with Sonic* What is happening?
Thomas: This song must be very popular.
Sonic: We can't stop!
Mr. Nut: And there they go. So long to those two, and unfortunately, to 你 wonderful folks as well. However, I will thank 你 for watching our 显示 this week. Come back for 更多 spectacular stories 下一个 Saturday.
Sean: *Blows his horn as he passes Kevin and Liam with a passenger train*
Liam: Thanks for taking me out here Kevin. This is awesome.
Kevin: I knew you'd like this place.
Master Sword: *Eating an 苹果 as he trips Wayne*
Wayne: Hey! 你 did that on purpose!
Master Sword: No I didn't. Honest. *An angel's halo appears over his head*
Duck: The final segment of this week's 显示 is starting.
Mr. Nut: Indeed it is. I'm Mr. Nut from The Nut House, and I'm your host on this fine evening. We have On The Block, and Ponies On The Rails for 你 excellent people. Enjoy.
Welcome to the block. And now for your hosts, Master Sword, and Tom Foolery.
Audience: *Cheering, clapping, and whistling*
Master Sword & Tom Foolery: *Standing in front of a house*
Master Sword: Today is the first 日 of Summer, and-
Tom: Hold it!
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: Today is not the first 日 of Summer. That will happen this Sunday.
Master Sword: Oh. Right.
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: Today's crossover parody, Mean Equestria Girls.
Audience: *Laughing*
Master Sword: Twilight gets called a slut, even though Rarity is the slut.
Audience: *Laughing, and clapping*
Mean Equestria Girls
Starring everyone as theirselves.
Twilight: *Enters the human world with Spike*
Spike: What happened to us?
Twilight: *Talks in her normal voice* I don't know.... wait a second. I NO LONGER HAVE THE VOICE OF A BLACK MAN!!!
Audience: *Booing*
Spike: Don't worry, she'll get it back after this parody is finished.
Audience: *Laughing*
Twilight: *Enters the school* Spike, get over here!
Spike: *Runs to Twilight*
It was lunchtime, so they went to the cafeteria.
Twilight: Where do we sit?
Spike: I don't know.
Teacher: Sorry kid, but there are no pets allowed. *Taking Spike away*
Twilight: This is the worst 日 of my life.
Audience: *Laughing*
Twilight: *Sits with Adagio, Sonata, and Aria*
Adagio: Welcome to the Dazzlings.
Sonata: I thought we were called The Plastics.
Aria: No, that's in Mean Girls. This is Mean Equestria Girls.
Audience: *Laughing*
Adagio: Shut up Aria, you're such a bitch.
Audience: *Laughing*
After lunch, Twilight sat 下一个 to Applejack, and Big Macintosh in math.
Applejack: I saw 你 sittin' with the Dazzlings.
Twilight: I thought they were called The Plastics.
Audience: *Laughing*
Big Macintosh: Eenope.
One boring story later
Audience: *Laughing*
Adagio: You're a bitch.
Twilight: No, you're a bitch.
Adagio: You're a bigger bitch.
Audience: *Laughing*
Twilight: At least I'm not concerned about my weight!
People: Oooh, burn!!!
Audience: *Laughing*
Adagio: Well you're a fugly slut! *Running across the street*
Bus Driver: *Runs over Adagio*
Audience: *Laughing*
Twilight: Okay, that didn't really happen, but I wish it did.
Audience: *Laughing*
Twilight: And, who uses fugly nowadays? I mean, come on.
Audience: *Laughing, and clapping*
The End
On the 下一个 part of this episode, Tom, and Double Scoop look at advertisements on the internet.
Theme Song: link
Master Sword: Come on Tom, let's go meet the others.
Tom: Right behind you.
Double Scoop: *Standing on 街, 街道 corner*
Aina: *Runs out of her house*
Sunny: Hey, wait for me. *Flying in the middle of the street*
Saten Twist: *Polishing his chain saw, but stops to go meet the others*
Pleiades: *Arrives at corner*
Mortomis: *Standing 下一个 to Double Scoop*
Tom: 更多 ponies!!
Snow Wonder: *Arrives in a brand new Corvette*
Cosmic Rainbow: *Flies from the clouds*
Heartsong: *Climbs out of a manhole*
Annie: *Arrives on a bicycle*
Blaze: *Flies out of a house window, and lands 下一个 to Tom*
Sophie Shimmer: *Gets off of a slow moving bus*
Astrel Sky: *Appears out of nowhere with magic*
Sean: *Lands behind Astrel Sky with a parachute*
All: We live together on the block!
Audience: *Clapping*
Announcer: Okay, stop the song! We need to keep this thing rolling.
Audience: *Laughing*
Episode 21: Advertisements Don't Belong On The Internet
Double Scoop was invited to Tom's house.
Tom: Hey, glad 你 could make it.
Double Scoop: Thanks. So, what are we going to do first?
Tom: Well, there is this racing game I want to 显示 你 on the internet.
Double Scoop: Oh, I'm not into racing.
Tom: Why not?
Double Scoop: Because I always have trouble shifting gears.
Tom: 你 always choose automatic with your transmission.
Audience: *Laughing*
Double Scoop: Oh.
Tom: I think you'll like this game. 你 don't have to shift gears. All 你 gotta do, is drive, and that's all.
Double Scoop: Okay. I'm ready.
They go up to Tom's room.
Tom: *Goes on his laptop* Okay, give me a 秒 to get onto the website that the game is on.
Double Scoop: Alright.
Tom: *Gets onto the website, but a big advertisement appears on the screen*
Advertisement Pony: New from SeanTheHedgehog Productions, it's the Ponies On The Rails Drag Racing Playset.
Double Scoop: I hate advertisements!
Tom: No shit.
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: Everyone hates them. *Refreshes the page* Hopefully, that's the last one we ever see.
But he was wrong. Another advertisement appeared.
Audience: *Laughing*
Advertisement Pony: 蜘蛛 Stallion is back. He must save Manehattan from The Sandman before things get out of hoof.
Tom: Too bad.
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: *Refreshes the page*
Double Scoop: Are 你 sure refreshing the page gets rid of advertisements?
Tom: It's worked before, yeah. *Sees another advertisement* What the hell?!!?
Audience: *Laughing*
Advertisement Pony: Hello, 你 have just recieved another advertisement, brought to 你 由 Spamdex.
Double Scoop: Oh no.
Audience: *Laughing*
Advertisement Pony: Spamdex is a wonderful company that constantly sends 你 advertisements, which can...
Annoy 你
Make your time on the internet completely useless
And cost 你 money. In fact, we collect one dollar from you, for every 秒 the advertisement plays.
Advertisement Pony: The best thing about all of this is that we can send 你 a virus, which prevents 你 from getting rid of any of the advertisements we send you. Is it illegal? Who cares? We'll do it anyway.
Audience: *Laughing*
Advertisement Pony: Spamdex, the ultimate advertisement sender.
Tom: I give up. *Turns off his laptop*
Double Scoop: I have 迷失 all faith in ponies.
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: They put a virus on this thing. I need to get a new laptop. *Looks at the audience* Coming up 下一个 is Celebrity Jeopardy. Don't go away.
Our cast for this Celebrity Jeopardy skit is
Saten Twist - Alex Trebek (He wears a white wig, a fake white mustache, and his cutie mark has been changed to a game 显示 wheel.)
Sean the hedgehog as himself (He's a famous war hero.)
Bulk Biceps as 阿黛尔
and Fancy Pants as Keanu Reeves
Alex: Welcome back to Celebrity Jeopardy. It's been an exciting first round, now let's take a look at the scores. Sean the hedgehog has set a new Jeopardy record with negative $235,000.
Audience: *Laughing*
Sean: Suck on it Trebek.
Audience: *Cheering*
Sean: Suck it long, and suck it hard.
Audience: *Clapping* Woo hoo!!!
Alex: that's beautiful. Do 你 吻乐队（Kiss） your mother with that mouth?
Sean: No, but I did something to your grand daughter with it.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Why?
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Keanu Reaves has an impressive negative $32,000.
Keanu: I know kung fu.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: For the last time, no 你 don't.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: And finally, 阿黛尔 in a commanding lead with zero.
Audience: *Laughing*
Adele: Did I win? Because there's some ponies I need to thank.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Let's just take a look at the board. And the categories are..
POTENT POTABLES
FOREIGN FLICKS
Things Trebek Sucks
Alex: Wait-
Audience: *Cheering*
Sean: HAHAHAHA!!!!
Audience: *Clapping*
Alex: Alright. *Gets rid of the Things Trebek Sucks category* Let's continue.
POTPOURRI
HOT 或者 COLD?
WHAT EARS DO
IS THIS A HAT?
Alex: That's when I name an object, and 你 tell whether, 或者 not, it's a hat.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: And finally,
颜色 THAT END IN URPLE
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Adele, you're in the lead, so we'll start with you.
Adele: I'm a mare 你 know.
Audience: HHHAAAAA!! *Clapping*
Alex: Let's just go with Foreign Flicks for 800.
Sean: *Rings in* Rarity.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: What?
Sean: Rarity, Penelope Cruz, and Kristin Kreuk.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: *Looks at Foreign Flicks. All of the letters are upper case, and the L, and I look like a U* That's foreign flicks Mr. The Hedgehog.
Audience: *Clapping*
Alex: FOREIGN. FLICKS. Mr. Reeves, why don't 你 pick?
Keanu: I shall take balloons for 800 if 你 please.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: That's not a category.
Keanu: My mistake, I shall choose balloons for 600.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: I'll tell 你 what, let's just do 颜色 that end in urple, for 800.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: This color ends in urple.
Adele: *Rings in*
Alex: Adele?
Adele: What is Light Urple?
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: *Rings the wrong answer buzzer* Wow.
Keanu: *Rings in*
Alex: Keanu Reeves?
Keanu: I will venture a guess. Who is Jaleel White?
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: What?
Keanu: Is that not the gentlecolt who played Steve Urple, the humorous fellow who wears glasses, and loves cheese?
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: That's Urkle!
Sean: *Rings in*
Alex: Oh good, Mr. The Hedgehog wants to say something.
Audience: *Laughing*
Sean: I thought of some 更多 foreign mares I f**ked.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Let's just go to Hot 或者 Cold for 400.
Video Daily Double noises played.
Alex: And it's a video daily double. Here goes nothing, please take a look at your video monitors.
This song played while a 随意 小马 was holding a cup of tea: link
Audience: *Cheering*
随意 Pony: It's me, Eddie Murphy, I sang this song in 怪物史莱克 2.
Audience: *Clapping*
随意 Pony: In this cup is some hot tea. Hot hot hot! Watch. *Drinks, but burns his tongue* Yow!! Hot hot hot! So the answer is, hot hot hot! 或者 cold? Hot hot hot! 或者 cold? Come on! Hot hot hot!
The video ends.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: None of 你 knows?
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: No one can figure out whether the hot 茶 is hot, 或者 cold?
Audience: *Laughing*
Keanu: *Rings in*
Alex: Thank god, Keanu Reeves.
Keanu: Is it iced tea?
Alex: NO! It's hot tea!
Audience: *Laughing*
Keanu: Well then, I have no idea.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Let's just go to final jeopardy. The category is... oh come on, why would they do this?
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: The category is Famous Granddaughters.
Audience: *Laughing*
Sean: This is my lucky day!
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Not going to give 你 the satisfaction.
Sean: Aw!
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: The new category is anything. Write anything.
Final Jeopardy 音乐 started playing.
Alex: Just write. Use your pen, and arm, and 移动 the pen around with your arm.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Scribble if 你 want, just make, some kind of mark.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Okay, let's get this over with. Sean the hedgehog 你 wrote down, below. I don't know why 你 wrote that, but technically that's a correct answer. 你 did write something. Let's see what 你 wagered. Me.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Below me.
Audience: *Laughing*
Sean: HA!!
Audience: *Clapping*
Alex: Below me. I don't get it.
Sean: Oh 你 do 你 Canadian prick!
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: A proud 日 for you, and your family. Keanu Reeves, 你 look very pleased. Let's see what 你 wrote down. Nothing.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: The 问题 was write anything, and 你 got it wrong. I'm speechless.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Let's see what 你 wagered. Eleventy billion dollars.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: That's not even a real number.
Keanu: Yet.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Simply amazing. And finally, Adele.
Adele: Thanks Alex, I'm so honored to have been here. There's a lot ponies I have to thank. I couldn't have done it, without Alex Trebek, the incredible cast, and crew of Jeopardy, my agent who is always looking for ways to get me on the big screen.
Audience: *Laughing*
Adele: That's it.
Alex: Touching. That's it for Jeopardy. Good night.
Audience: *Clapping*
Coming up next, it's The Classroom.
The Classroom
Starring Snow Wonder as Ms. Schultz
Tom as Gary
Astrel Sky as Maria
Sunny as herself
Pleiades as Brianna
Double Scoop as James
Aina as Lauren
Today was just like any ordinary 日 at school. It was very boring.
Audience: *Laughing*
Gary: I don't know why we still have to go here, when most schools are already finished.
James: I heard the principal was high on something.
Gary: Typical.
Audience: *Laughing*
Gary: Ah well, at least Lauren isn't here.
Lauren: *Arrives*
Audience: *Laughing*
James: 你 spoke too soon man.
Lauren: Where's the teacher?
Gary: I don't know Lauren. Why don't 你 go look for her?
Lauren: Because we're not allowed to go around the halls unless we're heading to our 下一个 class.
Gary: I was being sarcastic.
Audience: *Laughing*
Ms. Schultz: *Arrives* Good morning everypony, sorry I'm late.
Gary: Don't apologize to us. Apologize to our parents that keep paying for this bullshit.
Audience: *Laughing*
Ms. Schultz: I want 你 all to know that our last 日 of school will be tomorrow.
Brianna: On a sunday?
Audience: *Laughing*
Ms. Schultz: Yes.
Gary: That raises another question. This is a Saturday. Why are we here?
Audience: *Laughing*
Ms. Schultz: We had so many snow days that our principal decided to have us come here on the weekends.
James: 你 know what? I'm not even coming here anymore. This is bullshit. *Leaves the classroom*
Later, everyone was working on vocab.
Lauren: *Farts*
Audience: *Laughing*
Gary: 耶稣 CHRIST!!
Ms. Schultz: Gary, watch your language.
Gary: I'm sorry, but Lauren smells too bad to be here. Send her to the nurse, and tell them that she has hygiene issues!
Ms. Schultz: I'm afraid I cannot do that.
Gary: *Angry* why not?
Ms. Schultz: The nurse planned to skip school just like your friend James.
Audience: *Laughing*
Gary: Well at least open a window, 或者 something!
Ms. Schultz: It's too humid outside.
Gary: Well then, f**k all of you, I'm not coming here anymore either. *Leaves*
Ms. Schultz: Sit.
Gary: Why?
Ms. Schultz: Your grades are pathetic. 你 have a 57 in Math, a 42 in English, a 12 in science...
Audience: *Laughing*
Ms. Schultz: ..An 18 in history, and a 4 in gym.
Audience: *Laughing, and clapping*
Maria: How is that possible?
Sunny: Failing gym is like not knowing how to turn on a light.
Audience: *Laughing*
Gary: I'll take my chances. 你 all suck. *Leaves*
Ms. Schultz: Well, it looks like he'll be a super senior.
Audience: *Laughing*
Up next, it's Princess Celestia.
Princess Celestia
Starring Celestia, Luna, Twilight, and Derpy as theirselves
Blaze as Jonathan (For this skit, he's bald.)
Cosmic 彩虹 as Chrysler (For this skit, he has a mustache.)
Mortomis as Bryan
Saten Twist as Timothy
Double Scoop as Skeletor
Master Sword as Harry
Sophie Shimmer as Alexis
Astrel Sky as Jenny
Derpy entered Celestia's office.
Derpy: It appears Twilight is up to her tricks again. What are your thoughts?
Celestia: I thought we were finally done with this nonsense. But I guess not. I was having a nice rest, now this! God only knows what kind of shenanigans she has in store this time-
A 50 weight fell on her head.
Audience: *Laughing*
Derpy: *Leaves the office, and takes a left into the hallway. She walks into another room, and looks at Twilight Sparkle* LMFAO.
Audience: *Laughing*
Later, Bryan met up with two Mexicans.
Mexican 小马 1: What's good?
Bryan: We're ready to commit antics again. I'm looking for the best firecrackers available.
Mexican 小马 1: Roman candles, bottle rockets, 樱桃 bombs, 或者 sparklers?
Bryan: Twilight told me 你 guys have a 密码 for "certain" firecrackers.
Certain is the password.
Mexican 小马 1: I think we can help you. *Walks with the 秒 Mexican pony* Get your 屁股 over here.
Mexican 小马 2: *Walks toward Mexican 小马 1*
Mexican 小马 1: *Opens a wardrobe*
Audience: *Laughing*
Mexican 小马 1: *Pushes Mexican 小马 2 into the wardrobe* They want firecrackers. Come back when 你 get them! *Closes the wardrobe*
Audience: *Laughing*
Back at the castle.
Celestia: *In the shower. Outside, several ponies are listening to her* It's been a long time since I've had a good shower. I feel like a brand new mare. I'll watch Twilight Sparkle like a hawk.
Derpy: *In the 淋浴 with Celestia* Should I start on your backside?
Audience: *Laughing*
Celestia: Make sure 你 get every last pore back there.
Audience: Ew! *Laughing*
Celestia: And no surprise reach arounds.
Audience: *Vomitting*
The sound of firecrackers could be heard in the shower.
Celestia: What?! What's going on?!?! There's firecrackers in here!!!!
Audience: *Laughing, and clapping*
Later.
Jonathan: So the princess had a mishap in the 淋浴 this morning.
Chrysler: It's been two weeks since the last antic Twilight pulled on Celestia.
Jonathan: Things were very peaceful in those two weeks. Now who put the firecrackers in Celestia's shower?
Twilight: Man, it was me 你 idiot.
Audience: *Laughing*
Chrysler: Why would you-
Twilight: I started a Yo Mamma contest.
Audience: *Laughing*
Harry: Surely, 你 wouldn't do something that juvenile.
Twilight: I am.
Jonathan: *Angry* A Yo Mamma contest?! 你 couldn't think of something clever?
Twilight: Man, it was either dat, 或者 fondles for charity.
Audience: *Laughing*
Harry: Let me take one good guess, it's just a cover. You're really planning a larger antic!
Twilight: No shit.
Audience: *Laughing*
Twilight: *Chewing on a piece of gum, and blows a really big bubble. It pops after hitting Harry* I'll need to borrow the kids around the bunker.
Meanwhile, in Celestia's office.
Celestia: *Looking at a portal that Derpy put on her wall*
Audience: *Laughing*
Celestia: What is that blue shit doing on my wall? Get that down from there! Explain your actions, right now! I can only assume Twilight sent 你 in here with that portal gun. How rude! Twilight is screwing with me again! *Stands up, and bangs on her desk* TWILIGHT!!
Audience: *Laughing*
Celestia: *Bangs on her desk* TWILIGHT!! *Bangs on her desk* TWILIGHT!!
Meanwhile in another part of Celestia's castle, colts, and fillies were running around a small room that had seven bunk beds.
Alexis: *Looking at the colts, and fillies* Quiet 你 brats!
Audience: *Laughing*
Colts & Fillies: *Be quiet*
Alexis: Gather around.
Colts & Fillies: *Get close to Alexis*
Alexis: As 你 all know, Princess Celestia just got her PS4, and now has Gran Turismo 6.
Colts & Fillies: Yay!!
Alexis: 你 want to play, right?
Colts & Fillies: Yeah.
Outside of Celestia's castle, and in the town of Canterlot, things were turning into shit.
Rich Ponies: *Pushing a trolley* We're rich. We shouldn't be doing this. That's why we invented slaves!
Audience: *Laughing, and clapping*
Old Stallion: *Looking at teenage ponies working on an anti aircraft gun. One of them is his son*
10 年 Old Colt: *Angry at his dad* We're working on an antic here.
Old Stallion: How old are you? *Looks at colt* Twelve? *Looks at another colt* And you, thirteen? Aren't 你 lot too young to be playing pranks on the princess?
16 年 Old Stallion: So what if we are? Why do 你 care?
Old Stallion: Twilight has 你 brain washed.
16 年 Old Stallion: She asked us nicely to help. In return, she's giving us gummy bears.
Audience: *Laughing*
16 年 Old Stallion: You'd be a fool to turn down gummybears.
Audience: *Laughing*
Old Stallion: We had two weeks of peace, and quiet, and 你 kids are ruining it. The last thing we need is to have Celestia clawing her own eyes out.
15 年 Old Mare: We need our dose of lolz.
Audience: *Laughing*
Old Stallion: If 你 don't like reality, why don't 你 just run off to Pleasure Island?
10 年 Old Colt: Ugh, 你 suck! *Runs 100 miles an 小时 to Pleasure Island*
Audience: *Laughing*
Old Stallion: Okay then.. Fine. But if she finally loses her sanity, I'll know who to blame. *Walks away*
Back at Celestia's castle.
Chrysler: *Walks into a room, and looks at drunk Royal Guards* I don't have the patience for this, so let's get this over with. Your momma is so big, her shadow has it's own bedroom.
Audience: *Laughing*
Drunk Royal Guard: Your momma is so stupid, she got 迷失 at a supermarket, and starved to death.
Audience: *Laughing*
Later, Skeletor was ordering a 比萨, 比萨饼 with Jenny.
Skeletor: I want the entire 最佳, 返回页首 of the 比萨, 比萨饼 to be engulfed in anchovies. Olives are for dicks.
Timothy: *Walks into the room*
Skeletor: I'm sure I don't have to tell 你 where I am.
Audience: *Laughing*
Skeletor: Goodbye. *Hangs up, and walks to Timothy* 你 ready? Jenny, I want 你 to start 写作 this down. I want this verbal smackdown to be historical.
Jenny: *Gets paper, and a pencil ready*
Skeletor: *Looks at Timothy* Your mother finally let 你 out of the house?
Timothy: At least my mother actually has a house.
Audience: *Laughing*
Timothy: Your momma is so poor, she got evicted from a cardboard box.
Audience: *Laughing*
Skeletor: Your momma is so ugly, her 狗 have to take her for a walk every now, and again.
Audience: *Laughing*
Timothy: Your momma is so ugly, everypony goes trick 或者 treating as her yearbook photo.
Audience: *Laughing*
Skeletor: What about how bald your momma is? She makes Michael Jordan look like Zach Galifianakis.
Audience: *Laughing*
Skeletor: I looked at her scalp, and saw the future.
Timothy: *Stunned*
Skeletor: Yeah. Not much to say now, right? I'm running this show!
Audience: *Cheering, and clapping*
Timothy: *Walks away*
In Celestia's rant room.
Celestia: *Shouting* I can't believe you're all talking about my family!! Harry's mom is so stupid, she almost decapitated herself with a marshmallow!!!!!
Audience: *Laughing*
Harry: Your momma is so stupid she heard there were illegal aliens, and looked up for UFO's!
Audience: *Laughing*
Celestia: Your momma is hideous!!! She makes Sarah Jessica Parker look like The Mona Lisa!!
Audience: *Laughing*
Celestia: *Bangs her hoof on her desk* Who else?!!?
Everyone stayed silent.
At dinner.
Skeletor: Princess, that was some of the best ownage I've ever seen.
Celestia: Right now, I'm wondering what that clown was planning with all of those Yo Momma jokes going around the castle. I would have liked to insult her mother. She's the only one in the bunker I know that completely deserves it, but enough of these shenanigans.
Royal Guard: *Walks in with a package*
Celestia: The keys to my new Ford. *Takes the package* I heard the Focus was a really good model, so I bought one.
After dinner, Celestia was walking into her office when this happened.
Celestia: *Falls through a hole in the floor*
Audience: *Laughing*
Back at her office.
Celestia: That's it!! Send an extermination squad to kill her when she least expects it! Vengeance!! Annihilate that Twilight! *Stands up, and bangs on her desk* TWILIGHT!!
Audience: *Laughing*
Celestia: *Bangs on her desk* TWILIGHT!! *Bangs on her desk* TWILIGHT!!
In Ponyville.
Royal Guards: Twilight Sparkle, 你 are underarrest.
Twilight: Wuuuut?
Royal Guard: Orders from Celestia. She's pissed off, because 你 dug a hole in her room.
Twilight: Bite me. It was a bunch of kids that did it!
Audience: *Laughing*
Royal Guards: *Preparing their assault rifles*
Twilight: *Opens a portal on her chest* Gotcha!!!!
Royal Guards: *Shoot into the portal*
The bullets went through Celestia's 墙 where the other portal was placed.
Celestia: *Getting hit 由 the bullets*
Audience: *Laughing*
Celestia: That hurt like all hell.
Derpy: Should I go to the first aid kit, and get some band aids?
Audience: *Laughing*
Coming up next, enjoy the bloopers from this episode.
Blooper time.
Audience: *Cheering, and clapping*
Blooper song: link
Twilight: *Enters the human world with Spike*
Spike: What happened to us?
Twilight: *Talks in her normal voice* I don't know.... wait a second. I NO LONGER HAVE THE- *Coughs, and falls down*
Spike: Cut.
Director: 你 don't make the decisions!
Audience: *Laughing*
Take 2
Twilight: *Enters the human world with Spike*
Spike: What happened to us?
Twilight: *Talks in her black man's voice* I don't know.... Hey, I thought I was supposed to get my normal voice back!
Audience: *Laughing*
---
Tom: *Goes on his laptop* Okay, give me a 秒 to get onto the website that the game is on.
Double Scoop: Alright.
Tom: *Gets onto the website, but a big advertisement appears on the screen*
Advertisement Pony: New from SeanTheHedgehog Productions, it's the Ponies On The Rails Drag Racing Play set.
Double Scoop: Are we gonna skip this?
Tom: No, I wanna watch this.
Advertisement Pony: Meadow West gets her car, and races other ponies from the intersection to the railroad crossing. But watch out, Nikki is driving her train, and 你 do not want to crash into it. The Ponies On The Rails Drag Racing Play set. Comes with other ponies, other trains, and other cars, and 你 can also modify the town where they drag race.
---
Alex: Welcome back to Celebrity Jeopardy. It's been an exciting first round, now let's take a look at the scores. Sean the hedgehog has set a new Jeopardy record with-
Sean: Suck on it Trebek.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Wait for me to finish.
Sean: Oh, okay.
---
Alex: This color ends in purple, oh shit, I gave away the answer.
Audience: *Laughing*
---
Gary: Don't apologize to us. Apologize to our parents that keep paying for this bullshit. This 显示 sucks!
Audience: *Laughing*
Gary: Okay, not really. Sorry for saying that.
---
Mexican 小马 1: I think we can help you. *Walks with the 秒 Mexican pony* Get your 屁股 over here.
Mexican 小马 2: *Walks toward Mexican 小马 1*
Mexican 小马 1: *Tries to open the wardrobe*
Mexican 小马 2: Hurry up.
Mexican 小马 1: I'm trying to open it, but it's stuck.
Audience: *Laughing*
---
Chrysler: *Walks into a room, and looks at drunk Royal Guards* I don't have the patience for this, so let's get this over with. Your momma is so big, her shadow has it's own bedroom.
Royal Guard: She has her own shadow? I want my own shadow! Shadow is the best sonic character ever!!
Audience: *Laughing*
The End
Song: link
Mr. Nut: Wow. This is a 流行的 song. Our last 显示 for tonight is Ponies On The Rails.
Theme song >>>> link
Seanthehedgehog presents
The Season 3 Premiere of
Ponies On The Rails
Starring
Peirce Hawkins "Hawkeye" From Seanthehedgehog
Red Rose From Chibiemmy
Coffee Creme From KarinaBrony
Snowflake & Orion From Alinah09
Metal Gloss From DragonAura15
Stylo From Jimmythedragon
Gordon, Percy, Jeff, Bartholomew, and Pete from Seanthehedgehog
Episode 21
The Return Of Red Rose
April 30, 1953
It was a nice 日 in Cheyenne, but just when everypony was about to get their work assignments, Gordon arrived.
Gordon: Heil hitler!
Hawkeye: Oh great, world war 2 is still going on after all.
Pete: Gordon, explain this idiocracy!
Gordon: It's the 8th anniversary of Hitler's suicide, and I'm celebrating.
Hawkeye: 由 表演 like a Nazi?
Gordon: Yes! 你 have no honor for the glorious fuehrer.
Pete: And for that, 你 get to work in the train yard.
Gordon: Whatever *Walks away*
Hawkeye: Red Rose was the only 小马 that could make him stop with his stupid shenanigans.
Pete: You're right. 你 know what we need to do?
Hawkeye: Rehire her?
Pete: 你 read my mind, but we better hurry before Gordon causes 更多 damage.
But it was too late. Gordon went to where Stylo was, and planned to insult him.
Stylo: *Greasing wheels on train*
Gordon: *walks to Stylo* 你 sir are an ugly pony.
Stylo: (This guy has been annoying me for three months now) Gordon, why are 你 fat?
Gordon: I am a magnificent pony, ready for anything. 你 never see me ruining my good looks.
Stylo: Oh. Does 表演 like a Nazi, and getting suspended from work help 你 look magnificent?
Gordon: *Walks away*
Snowflake: *Arrives* Gordon, Pete changed your job. 你 have to take a slow freight into Omaha.
Gordon: It's great that I no longer have to work in this train yard, but why do I have to drive a slow freight?
Snowflake: I don't know. Ask Pete.
Gordon: I hate slow freight trains.
Snowflake: Slow freight trains hate you.
Gordon: Be quiet. *Goes to train* Even worse, I have to use a steam locomotive to pull this train. UGH!!!
Gordon got the train started out of the yard. His train only had a few freight cars, but he picked up 更多 along the way.
Meanwhile, Pete was calling Michael, the owner of the Southern Pacific.
Pete: Mike, I need your help with something.
Michael: What is it?
Pete: I was hoping 你 would let me have Red Rose back on my railroad.
Michael: I'll talk to her, and see if she wants to come back.
Pete: Alright.
Michael: Is there anything else 你 want to talk to me about? I want to catch the newest episode of Gilligan's Island.
Pete: No, that's all Michael. Thank 你 for your cooperation.
Michael: No problem. *Hangs up*
Pete: *Sighs* I really hope she's able to come back.
Back to Gordon, who was still driving his freight.
Gordon: *stops at station*
Coffee Creme: *Climbs in* I'm the firemare.
Gordon: Great. Yet another 小马 to antagonize me.
Coffee Creme: Ok. *Shoveling coal into firebox*
Gordon: *drives train*
At first, Gordon was paying attention to the train he was driving, but got careless as soon as he started thinking about Stylo.
Gordon: *Driving train up hill*
Coffee Creme: Heavy freight trains have to go slow downhill.
Gordon: *Not listening*
Coffee Creme: Gordon, slow down.
Gordon: *Forgets to put brakes on*
Their train soon started going very fast as soon as it went downhill. It was too late to apply the brakes now.
Coffee Creme: Great work 你 fool.
Gordon: Again with the antagonizing, stop it!
Coffee Creme: *Sees train in front of them* Ok *teleports out of train*
Gordon: What did she leave for? *Crashes into train*
Coffee Creme: *Sees damage* Oh Gordon. 你 had to crash into those tank cars, carrying tar.
The tar splashed onto the engine, and some even went into the cab, and landed on Gordon. He was 更多 dirty than hurt.
Back at Cheyenne
Orion: *stops streamlined passenger train at station*
Pete: *Waiting on platform*
Red Rose: *Walks out of train* Hi Pete.
Pete: Red Rose, so good to see 你 again.
Red Rose: Yeah, I guess so. What have I missed?
Pete: There's a 小马 你 haven't met named Stylo. 你 have to go with him, and clear the wreckage caused 由 Gordon.
Red Rose: Of course. Where is Stylo?
Pete: He's waiting for 你 at the train yards, with a breakdown train.
Red Rose: Ok, I'll go clear the mess with Stylo. *Goes to trainyard*
At the wreckage, Gordon stayed in his engine. He didn't want anypony seeing that he got covered in tar.
Red Rose: *Brings in breakdown train*
Coffee Creme: Red Rose, you're back.
Red Rose: Yeah, and I get to drive a train for once.
Stylo: *goes in cab* 嘿 Red Rose. Whoever is this dirty pony?
Red Rose: That's Gordon. Didn't 你 know?
Stylo: It looks like Gordon, but Gordon is a splendid pony. 你 never see his good looks being ruined.
Gordon: *Ignores them*
Coffee Creme: *Arrives* 你 can try, and get that tar off of you.
Gordon: I already tried. It didn't work.
Coffee Creme: That's a shame. 你 really should apologize to Stylo after what 你 说 to him.
Gordon: How do 你 know about that?
Coffee Creme: He told me.
Gordon: *Facehoof*
After the mess was cleared, Pete arrived.
Pete: Well done Stylo, Red Rose, and Coffee Creme. *Looks at Gordon* It's strange how 你 let a train roll downhill without the brakes on. I'm also surprised that 你 got tar on yourself. You're not fit to be seen, 你 must be cleaned at once.
Stylo: Will I be able to take over while Gordon is getting cleaned?
Pete: 你 got it.
Stylo: *Goes in engine*
Coffee Creme: *Follow Stylo*
As they drove away in the engine, Pete and Red Rose took Gordon back to Cheyenne. He was still covered in tar when they arrived.
Gordon: *Looking around* How am I going to get cleaned?
Pete: *Sees Water tower* I know just the trick.
Gordon: *Sees water tower* Oh no. 你 are not soaking me with water.
Pete: Yes we are. Unless 你 want to look ugly for the rest of your life.
Gordon: Ok, I'll do it. *Goes to water tower*
Pete: *Climbing tower*
Red Rose: *Watching*
Pete: *Pours water on Gordon*
Gordon: AH!! *Falls on ground*
Pete: *Laughing*
Red Rose: *Laughing*
Gordon: Now everypony is antagonizing me! *Runs away*
Pete: *Returns* I'm sorry 你 had to put up with him on your return.
Red Rose: Don't worry about it. It was fun. With Stylo around, things are going to be great.
The End
On the 下一个 episode of Ponies On The Rails
Korean war veterans want to ride the U.P
Song: link
Mr. Nut: Here's another 流行的 song.
Sean The Hedgehog: *Bouncing up and down with Sonic* What is happening?
Thomas: This song must be very popular.
Sonic: We can't stop!
Mr. Nut: And there they go. So long to those two, and unfortunately, to 你 wonderful folks as well. However, I will thank 你 for watching our 显示 this week. Come back for 更多 spectacular stories 下一个 Saturday.
