Damn, this took some kicking and screaming. I 爱情 my 迪士尼 characters, and to just choose 10... Well, I think I narrowed it down.
I can't wait to finally sit back and look at this so I can appreciate those characters I 爱情 the most for what they really are - my personal best. For me, 迪士尼 really doesn't get much better than the 10 characters 你 see below. And that's saying something. That's saying A LOT.
Anyway, yes, I swear. I don't give a shit that I swear either.
On with the countdown!


Before I start, I just have to give these three a mention:
#13: Kuzco - The Emperor's New Groove (2000)
#12: 夏洛特 - The Princess and The Frog (2009)
#11: Basil - The Great 老鼠, 鼠标 Detective (1986)
It really pains me to leave them out!











10) Hades - Hercules (1997)

Ah, Hades. Hades, Hades, Hades... I FUCKING ADORE HADES.
He's blue, he's badass, he's got 火, 消防 for hair. What else could 你 want? He's witty, sleazy and he always performs his end of the deal. 你 hear that, Herc? At least SOMEONE knows the importance of their word.
I mean, he's a fucking GOD. Not only that, but he's just about the coolest God there is - he's the God of the Underworld. He has a three-headed ginormous pet dog and a skeleton that ferries him around on his sea of souls. That's just fucking AMAZING.
Not to mention, he's got such a great ol' load of dimension to his character. He never gets boring 或者 dull to watch, no matter how old 你 get 或者 how many times 你 watch it. Even my Grandma loves Hades. And my Grandma is so negative about 迪士尼 films, it's unbelievable. But Hades is just one of those guys. Everyone loves Hades for some reason 或者 another, and I 爱情 him enough to give him that shining number 10 spot.






9) Judge Claude Frollo - The Hunchback of Notre Dame (1996)

Best villain, best villain song, best 迪士尼 film...
Is there anything Frollo hasn't got? I can tell 你 one thing he has got and he wants to get rid of. Starts with v. Thiiiink about it.
Anyway, Frollo is too cool for words. He's evil. A real bad-to-the-bone guy. I mean, he commits genocide every 日 and blames his sins on religion. He lusts after women and burns them at the stake if they won't have him. Goddamn, this guy needs a chill pill. But that's why we 爱情 him! He's quirky (well, at least his hat is) and he's voiced 由 the wonderful Tony 松鸦, 杰伊, 杰伊 · (RIP - can't believe it's been 4 years already!) AND he's a very twisted character. It's so fun to see him squirm and pushed to his on film. That's probably what makes him so great. He's even cool when he gets insane and homicidal. But then again, most people's characters do improve at this point. Just look at Scream - Billy was just a greasy slimebag until he became cool, psychotic and slightly sexy.
Anyway, Hellfire is one of the best 迪士尼 songs ever. If 你 ever need a quick lol, type "Hellfire in 5 seconds" into YouTube. I lol'd so freakin' hard, because it's true.
To be blunt, as always, I 爱情 Frollo. <3






8) 花木兰 - 花木兰 (1998)

你 really know how serious this 列表 is when 你 see a character I 爱情 and cherish this far down.
花木兰 is just amazing. She's clumsy, awkward and funny as well. She's a real kick in the balls to men and I just 爱情 that. 你 go, girl. 你 显示 them that 你 can climb up a pole and throw an arrow. 你 throw that 《绿箭侠》 for women everywhere! 你 could also save China later, but that's not what we're here for. We're here to see what 你 can do with that pole. ...Say hello to the TWSS moment, everyone. 你 just passed it.
Anyway, 花木兰 is beautiful and fun and just so lovable. She's impossible to hate and despite her tons of fans, she's still underrated. WHERE IS HER MERCHANDISE, DISNEY? WHEREEEEE?






7) Phoebus - The Hunchback of Notre Dame (1996)

This poor guy usually gets overlooked, but good lord is he funny!
Phoebus is sexy, witty, bitchy, smart, strategic and ballsy. Sounds sort of like a 描述 of some of my favourite heroines, but 你 know how it is. Birds of a feather flock together!
First off, as I've never really talked about Phoebus before, we'll mention his looks. Phoebus is fucking hot. He could captain my guard any day. Mmmmm. He's got that cute blonde hairstyle, the sexy little goatee and the manly macho body. Oooh, baby. As a girl I know would say, "that's orgasm personified!".
Secondly, Phoebus' personality. He has a ton of it, and every single inch just oozes wit. Right from when we first see him, he's just dripping witty lines onto the floor and making a puddle. He only ever speaks to say something smothered in that wonderful, beautiful wit. Unless he's angry, 或者 making a speech destined for someone else... DAMN YOU, PHOEBUS. DAMN 你 FOR STEALING SOME OF HIS SCREENTIME!
Thirdly, there's his voice. I will not repeat this girl I know's stance on voices. I'll save that one for later. Ok, fine, TWSS.






6) Megara - Hercules (1997)

I 爱情 MEG.
She's witty, stunning, slightly bitchy, sassy and amazing beyond belief. The 皇后乐队 of Wit is here and she's here to stay!
So many things about Meg are just too cool for words. She has purple eyes for God's sake. PURPLE. There's only one other character with purple eyes, and he's still to come.
Now I mention it, Meg is rather purple. Purple's my favourite colour, y'know. 你 never would have guessed, would you?
Anyway, let's just get this over and done with. I think I've talked about Meg enough in other articles. I just looooove her! <3






5) Doctor Facilier - The Princess and The Frog (2009)

A lot of people don't like my dear Faci, but I 爱情 him.
He's hot (don't dispute this - he is), he has an amazing voice, he ties with Frollo as the best 迪士尼 villain (honestly, I could never choose between them) and he's one of the best dressed 迪士尼 characters I've ever seen. Facilier has style. He makes New Orleans shake so far into their boots that they dare not utter his name... He's just the Shadowman. With an introduction like that, you're expecting a lot. And boy does this guy 更多 than deliver!
His hair, his clothes, his face. They all ooze this sexy sophisticated edge. He's cool and he dances like no-one else. Damn, does this guy even have bones? He sure does have the coolest shadow ever (so suck on that, Peter Pan) and he messes with voodoo. Voodoo is like, as cool as it gets. Well, maybe not, but it's still cool. All those mystical things and those little charms... Everyone knows something about voodoo, and everyone has to agree - that's some cool shit. I mean, they even have freakin' zombies. Facilier has shadows. They're faster, slinkier, cooler, funnier... Just like Faci himself.






4) Mushu - 花木兰 (1998)

I always have done and I always will 爱情 Mushu. He's hilarious and I 爱情 his personality! I couldn't imagine anyone else voicing him except the undisputably amazing Eddie Murphy. No-one else could pull off something this epic win.
In fact, Mushu is just one big case of epic win that cannot be contained in mere words. The only reason he's slinking at fourth is that the 最佳, 返回页首 3 are the messiahs of 迪士尼 that I worship with joy and pleasure.






3) Esmeralda - The Hunchback of Notre Dame (1996)

I told 你 she wasn't my favourite, but she used to be.
Esmeralda just oozes epic win. She's the tin that spreads the epic win around. She has to dish it out because she's just creating the stuff.
She dances and sings like a siren, a comparison that I'm sure Frollo would agree with. She looks like some sort of freakin' Goddess. Her hair is so messy and "fuck it" but yet so dazzlingly perfect. In the final battle when Frollo's about to kill her and her hair is billowing in the wind.. IT STILL LOOKS GODDAMN AMAZING. What is this witchcraft?! As if that isn't enough, her face is just beautiful to behold with her large green eyes and seductive smile... But the real jewel is her body. Her curves are just amazing. Her boobs are epic win and her waist - HER HIPS! Her thighs... Oh my! It's all beautifully held into place 由 her dazzling outfits. Her gypsy outfit is so memorable and out there, but it's that red 斯潘德克斯弹性纤维, 氨纶 that really quickens the heartbeats. It clutches her body and holds it into place so nicely. No wonder Frollo had an obvious boner.
Despite all this stuff, 迪士尼 then decided they'd go one step further and give her a killer personality of spunk, wit, compassion, kindness and fiesty rage. Honestly Disney, how epic win can 你 make this girl? Oh that's right, 你 then place her in the best movie of all time, give her one of the best songs of all time, place her in the best couple of all time with one of the best men of all time and let her live in just about the coolest place of all time. GODDAMNIT, THIS GIRL IS JUST SO AMAZING THAT I CAN'T 爱情 HER ENOUGH!






2) Naveen

Oh, NAVEEN, 你 sexy 猛男, hunk, 大块 of man! <3
He's hot, he's cool, he's funny beyond reason... This guy just makes me go so squee and weak at the knees.
It's time for the line: "This voice gets a open-legged approval from me!"
...No, really, she actually says that. Good thing it's true though! The cinema must have had some real trouble with the whole audience jizzing simultaneously as soon as this guy opened his mouth. It only helps that he is the sexiest 迪士尼 guy ever. His face, his hair, his body, his charm. YES, NAVEEN. I WOULD BEG FOR MORE. And I don't mean just the kisses. ;)
Erm, yes, anyway, he's so funny! 耶稣 Christ! His arguments with Tiana just make me 哈哈 my face off to the extreme. He's an amazing human and an amazing frog.
PLUS, I'VE MET HIM AT FUCKING DISNEYLAND PARIS. AND HE 说 ACHIDANZA TO ME. AHHHHHH! AND I HAVE A FROG!NAVEEN CUDDLY TOY! AHHHHHHH! OMG, I 爱情 NAVEEN!

...Obsessed? No, of course I'm not obsessed, don't be silly.
你 wanna see obsession? It's time for the best character of all time. Fuck 迪士尼 for a 秒 - this is the epitome of awesome. It's the one and only...






1) Clopin - The Hunchback of Notre Dame (1996)

CLOPIN. YES, CLOPIN. MR EPIC WIN IN A TIN HIMSELF.
The man too epic for actual words that they had to invent one for him: CLOPINTASTIC. That's what this guy is, pure and simple. He's just an evolution of epic win that can only be explained with himself... Which makes no sense, which is awesome!
I just realised that I've never actually gone through why I 爱情 Clopin so much. So it's "ARGH! MICHELLE'S A FUCKING INSANE OBSESSIVE PERSON!" time! Yay!
Clopin is witty, fun, silly, outrageous, cute, sexy, hot, PURPLE, insane and unbelievably epic. He holds his own puppet show, goddamnit. He sings... *counts on fingers*... 4 epic win songs. Out of 9 epic win songs. He wears purple! He dances like some ninja on heavy drugs and sugar. His voice is just beautiful! Paul Kandel <333
He's so... He's so... He's just so CLOPINTASTIC, DAMNIT. Can 你 explain something this amazing? No, we've already gone over this. 你 see, this is the world. And this is the realm of epic that sits above the world. If 你 go up to the 最佳, 返回页首 floor of epic, you're still not even halfway to Clopin. He deserves to be worshipped. Care to start a religion, mes amis? They started one for Kurt Cobain, didn't they?
Anyway, I don't really think it's possible to sum this up. I 爱情 Clopin so much that mere mention of him brings up that squee feeling in my chest. 你 know exactly what feeling I mean.











That's your lot. Be done with it. Care for some Clopin fanart? I've drawn... a lot. To say the least.