I know there are a lot, but think of your FAVORITE line he delivered, or best story he told, and put it in here! You can even post several times if you can't decide! I'm good with that. Here's mine:

Whenever I meet someone with a kid, they have to show me a photo of their kid. But when I show them a picture of me to show to their kid... I'm weird. What kind of one-way street is that? "Here you give him that, tell them it's Demetri... I don't know, give him my number, we'll hang out, I don't care."