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posted by Seanthehedgehog
Running from Chicagoat to San Franciscolt is a railroad called the Union Pacific. It's the largest railroad in the United States, and is run 由 thousands of ponies. This is the story of some of those ponies that run the rails, aka railroading.

Episode 1: New worker

Cheyenne, July 26, 1950

Coffee Creme: *walking on platform*
Orion: Hey, are 你 the new 火, 消防 mare?
Coffee Creme: Yes.
Orion: Alright, you're working with another 小马 on that passenger train. You're going to Las Pegasus. Good luck on your first day.
Coffee Creme: Thanks *walks to engine*
Hawkeye: Hi, 你 must be my new 火, 消防 mare.
Coffee Creme: Yup.
Hawkeye: Name's Peirce Hawkins, though some ponies call me Hawkeye. Climb aboard, and we'll get going.
Coffee Creme: *enters locomotive*
Hawkeye: Alright, all 你 have to do is use this shovel, to put all the coal into this firebox. I'll let 你 know when to stop.
Coffee Creme: *shoveling coal*
Hawkeye: *waiting for signal*
Snowflake: *turns signal green*
Hawkeye: Alright, once I pull this lever, we'll get the wheels moving, and we're outta here. *pulls lever*

The wheels moved, but Hawkeye's train didn't go anywhere

Hawkeye: Come on. You're made to pull this!
Coffee Creme: *shoveling coal*
Hawkeye: Alright. Now we're moving.
Coffee Creme: Can I stop?
Hawkeye: Sure. Now get to the right side of the cab, and look out for anything that could get in our way. We don't want that happening.
Coffee Creme: So how far is L.P from here?
Hawkeye: I'd say about 200 miles. We only have to go as far as Denver. When we get there, another crew will take over, and we'll take control of another train.
Coffee Creme: Does it say which one?
Hawkeye: It says a train with diesels.
Coffee Creme: Well, that's very helpful. Surely the engine must have a number.
Hawkeye: It does, and don't call me shirley.
Coffee Creme: What number is it?
Hawkeye: Doesn't say. It must be 迷失 from it's owner.

Soon, the two ponies arrived at Denver. Another train pulled 由 diesels stopped on the other side of the platform

Hawkeye: *climbs out*
Honey Bee: *climbs out* Hi Hawkeye.
Hawkeye: What's good Honey?
Honey Bee: I'm going to Las Pegasus. I see 你 have the new worker.
Hawkeye: Yeah.
Coffee Creme: I'm Coffee Creme
Honey Bee: Yeah, that's cool. *walks away*
Coffee Creme: What was that all about?
Hawkeye: She's not use to new workers. After a while, the new worker disease will be cured.
Gordon: *climbs out of engine* Well, I see they hate the new worker so far.
Hawkeye: They like her. In fact they like her so much that they didn't want her going with you.
Gordon: Ugh. Go fuck something.
Hawkeye: Please be 更多 specific. "Something" does not help.
Gordon: UGH!!!! *walks away*
Hawkeye: *climbs in* Alright. Says here that we are going back to Cheyenne.
Coffee Creme: *climbs in* What about this freight train?
Hawkeye: We take it to the trainyard, and let the workers there do whatever. After that, it goes off to St. Foalis.
Coffee Creme: Alright then, let's go.
Hawkeye: Ok. *waits for green signal*
Coffee Creme: What are 你 waiting for?
Hawkeye: See that red light?
Coffee Creme: Yeah.
Hawkeye: We can't go until it turns green.
Coffee Creme: When does that happen?
Hawkeye: When 你 make it vomit.
Coffee Creme: *laughs* Now for real, what happens that makes the light turn green.
Hawkeye: We gotta wait for a train infront of us. It just turned yellow.
Coffee Creme: What does that mean?
Hawkeye: It means we can go, but the train in front of us hasn't cleared our path. *pushes lever*

The train started to move, when two ponies in a truck got ahead.

Hawkeye: *stops*
Coffee Creme: Is this the maintenence crew?
Hawkeye: It is. The best one we have too. Those ponies named Percy, and Jeff really know how to repair tracks.
Coffee Creme: They seem to be doing good.
Hawkeye: Yeah. *blows horn*
Percy: Better luck 下一个 time Hawkeye! 你 can't scare us!
Hawkeye: I'll win 下一个 time. And if I do, you'll owe me $4!
Jeff: You'll owe us $8 if we win!
Percy: Alright, it's all fixed.
Hawkeye: Thanks guys!
Percy: *drives away*
Hawkeye: *drives train*

When Hawkeye, and Coffee Creme got to Cheyenne, they were heading towards the train yard.

Hawkeye: *stops*
Coffee Creme: Ok, we're hear. Now what?
Hawkeye: Now we uncouple the locomotives, and put them in the servicing facility. Meanwhile, three engines will get behind the train, and push it down the hump.
Coffee Creme: How do 你 hump a train?
Hawkeye: 你 don't. It goes down a 爬坡道, 小山 which is called the hump, because it goes uphill, and shortly after that it goes downhill.
Coffee Creme: Is that it?
Hawkeye: Sort of. The cars in the train get uncoupled, and they go to different parts in the yard. The operator here is quick on her hooves.
Coffee Creme: What's her name?
Hawkeye: Red Rose. 你 can see her through the windows in that tower.
Orion: Hey. Get your engines uncoupled, and let's go.
Hawkeye: Sure thing. *uncouples engines* Alright. We're set. *enters locomotive*
Coffee Creme: *follows*
Orion: *couples engines*
Red Rose: *switches tracks*
Hawkeye: *gets out of way*
Orion: *pushes train*
Hawkeye: And now, enjoy the action.

A few ponies were uncoupling cars, and when that happened they rolled down the hill.

Hawkeye: *enters servicing facility*
Coffee Creme: What happens here?
Hawkeye: These engines are going to be maintained. Whether it's being repaired, 或者 refueling this is where it goes after delivering a train.
Coffee Creme: Cool. What do we have to do?
Hawkeye: Let the maintenance crew work on it.
Coffee Creme: I thought they repaired the tracks.
Hawkeye: That's one of them. The other maintenance crew works here to look over locomotives. We head back to the station, and wait for another assignment.
Coffee Creme: Ok.
Pete: Hello Hawkeye! How have 你 been doing giving our new worker a tour of the Union Pacific?
Hawkeye: Fine, just fine. And she's been doing good too.
Pete: Well then. I'm glad that I had 你 hired. See 你 around. *walks off*
Coffee Creme: I suppose that's the owner of this railroad.
Hawkeye: 你 could say that. He just controls the area that we work in. His name is Pete Reimer.
Coffee Creme: Alright. What do we do now?
Hawkeye: We go back to the station, and wait for our 下一个 assignment.
Coffee Creme: Is that it?
Hawkeye: Pretty much.

They both got to the station. At the signal tower nearby was a pegasus walking towards them.

Hawkeye: Snowflake, what are 你 doing?
Snowflake: It's 7 PM. Our shift is over.
Hawkeye: Oh. Alright then.
Coffee Creme: What now?
Hawkeye: We usually go hangout at Snowflake's house. Wanna 加入 us?
Coffee Creme: Sure.

The three ponies then walked out of the station, and towards their cars.

Snowflake, Hawkeye, and Coffee Creme drove to Snowflake's house. When they got there, the three were playing monopoly

Coffee Creme: Can I ask 你 a question?
Hawkeye: Sure.
Coffee Creme: Why is Gordon such an ass?
Hawkeye: He was once a great driver, until he accidentally killed Pete's wife. Now he basically acts mean towards everypony for no reason.
Coffee Creme: That's terrible.
Snowflake: *rolls dice* Yeah. It's hard to believe, but it's true. How much do I owe you?
Hawkeye: It's New York avenue with two houses, so 你 owe me 90 dollars.
Snowflake: Here *hands over 100 dollar bill*
Hawkeye: Thank you.
Coffee Creme: What was it like before Gordon killed Pete's wife?
Hawkeye: He was working for the Santa Neigh railroad. It happened about two years 以前

February 13, 1948

Hawkeye: *waits at station*
Gordon: *driving train*
Pete: Darling, where are 你 going?
Theresa: I'm going for a walk.
Pete: Alright, but come back soon. Our train leaves soon.
Honey: Surely this signal has to turn green someday.
Hawkeye: It will, and don't call me Shirley.
Theresa: *on bridge* Is this part of your line?
Pete: No, that belongs to the Santa Neigh line.
Gordon: *driving train*
Pete: Watch out!!
Theresa: Ah! *drops purse*
Gordon: *going 50* Get outta the way!!
Theresa: *grabs purse*
Pete: Hurry up!

Present day, July 27, 1950

Hawkeye: Then, the unfortunate occurred.
Coffee Creme: That's so terrible!
Hawkeye: It's even terrible bringing it up.
Snowflake: Forget that, my car is beating your train!
Hawkeye: We're on roads, not train tracks. *rolls dice*
Coffee Creme: Great, now he's gonna buy the Baltimare & Ohio!
Hawkeye: Yeah. Why don't they have the Union Pacific on here though?
Snowflake: Hey, that's a good point.
Gordon: *enters house*
Coffee Creme: Uh, aren't 你 supposed to be in Las Pegasus?
Gordon: No. May'be, who cares? *drinks beer*
Hawkeye: You're not drinking because of that accident in '48 are you?
Gordon: No! How dare 你 bring that up?!!?
Hawkeye: New worker.
Gordon: Then I'll have her fired.
Hawkeye: 你 can't 火, 消防 her Gordon! She hasn't done anything wrong!
Gordon: She has interfered with a superior engineer! *drinks 更多 beer*
Hawkeye: Alright, look. I know you're upset, but drinking booze won't help. Just forget about that, and look 前锋, 期待 to the future. 你 got that?
Gordon: Hey.. 你 know what? You're right.
Snowflake: *rolls dice*
Gordon: In fact you're so right, that it's a lie! *leaves house*
Hawkeye: Well, it was worth a try.
Coffee Creme: What now?
Hawkeye: It's almost eight. I have to get going.
Snowflake: Ok, bye,
Hawkeye: See 你 *walks out of house*

The End

下一个 up in Ponies On The Rails

The Union Pacific decides to borrow some engines, but Hawkeye has other plans.

SeanTheHedgehog: Copyright 2013
 Robotnik: Pingas!
Robotnik: Pingas!
It started with my 3 年 old son screaming in his room in the middle of the night. When I came in to check on him he was in hysterics. Tears ran down his little cheeks as he cried about how the Boogeyman had frightened him. I let him sleep with my wife and I for the night, thinking it was just a bad dream.

The 下一个 evening he didn’t even want to be in his room, but I convinced him that the Boogey Man was just a figment of his imagination. I was awoken once 更多 由 his screams. I rushed to his room, to find him in tears again.

On the third night I set up a 摄录一体机, 摄像机 in his room, in order...
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#1:
MAN: Young man? 你 trapped in the Seventies? Nobody says "young man".
What else 你 gonna say? "Fresh"?
LAZLOW: Look--whatever, homeboy. Listen. Tell me what the kids are into. I gotta connect with the kids. Not my private parts, 你 know, but--that's for online--but, what are 你 out doing?
MAN: Yo, I'm delivering weed.
LAZLOW: But, you--you're only like thirteen.
MAN: Exactly. I won't go to prison.


#2:
GIRL: Yeah, um, oh, my God, am I on the radio!?
LAZLOW: Do 你 not realize that? This is a microphone, stupid!


#3:
Alan McClean: Speaking gives an atmosphere of fear!.. Waterboarding gives an atmosphere...
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posted by Canada24
"HOLLY FUCK! IT's FUCKIN BURNING!.. The whole place!... I've got to go in! I've got to get something!" Roman cried, seeing Dimitri and Burgarini have literary burnt down Roman's apartment, and Roman tried running into it, but Niko held him back.

"Leave it, cousin! This place is gone" Niko replied.

"THEY FUCKIN BURNT IT NIKO!... Do 你 know how long it took me to get a place of my own!? 你 got off the 船, 小船 and I was here for you... I had NOTHING!.. nobody!.. I worked my way up from the fucking dirt!"

They reach Roman's taxi business only to see it has ALSO been burnt down, further angering Roman....
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#1:
Why is canada a 安全 country?
"Cause the mighty king 鹅 gives us 食物 to eat. And perverts say please ad thank after each rape..


#2:
Every time I get masterbate, I get angry and throw my 龟, 海龟 against a wall"
"I don't think your masterbating in the RIGHT way"


#3:
万圣节前夕 falls on a Friday the 13th this 年 for the first time in 666 years. I’m totally stabbing someone.
"You two huh?"


#4:
The devil has five letters and so does weed:
"Good for you, here's a lollipop"


#5:
Why are Americans stupid?
"Cause they are close to Canada"


#6:
Why are ALL Americans obese, stupid and religious?
"Because ALL Canadians like hockey"


#7:
Is America planning to invade Vancouver?
"No, that's Japen"


#8:
Do they have trees in America?
"Coarse not"
How do I become sarcastic?
"You answer 问题 such as THIS one"


My house is on fire, what do I do?
"You get off the fuckin computer and go outside!"


Can 你 get pregnant from watching porn?
"Only on wednesdays"


Every time I drink alcohol I feel sad.
"Your not drinking ENOUGH of it!"


I was having sex with my sister and got a cramp in my leg.
"GOOD!"


Why are 婴儿 ugly at first?
"YOU try living inside a woman's vigina for so long!"


How do I become a Justin Bieber fan?
"You take a large blow to the head. Maybe jump off a cliff as a start."


Is is normal to be in 爱情 with your dog?
"... 你 need help"...
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#1: TREVOR PHILLIPS:
Trevor has been described as a difficult person to deal with, extreme, impetuous, vengeful, psychotic, unhinged, unpredictable, untamed, infamous, sociopathic and prone to violent outbursts and destructive rampages.

Although Trevor is this kind of person, he has shown many times how needy he is for 爱情 and care. He tells Michael repeatedly how much he mourned him, to the point that he got a memorial tattoo with Michael's name on it. As he was being confronted 由 Floyd and Debra, he told them how much he wanted to be with them. His relationship with Patricia was also a display...
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#1:
West: It can give the most ordinary of intelligences a remarkable insight.
John: I'll give 你 insight -- I'll 显示 你 what your guts look like.


#2:
French: Ya, keep on talking there, Irish! In about 15 更多 秒 your whole world's gonna turn black!
(John Marston walks into the barn)
John: What's up, boys?
(Welsh and French let go of Irish and turn to face John)
Welsh: Fuck off, boyo. This don't concern you!
John: When a man with a sing-song voice tells me to fuck off, it always concerns me, boyo.
French: Look here, this paddy bastard 偷了 our gun. Tried to steal our horses. Law is clear on...
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#1: ROB WIETHOFF:
best known for his role as voice actor and motion capture artist of John Marston in the 2010 video game Red Dead Redemption.
Rob Wietoff Nominated 2 或者 5 times for performance. And honestly I'll be pissed he HADN'T been.
The voice is everything.
And Rob's voice really makes John's sarcastic, ill tempered, murderious personality a true delight..


#2: MICHAEL HOLLICK:
an American actor, voice actor, singer and musician who has appeared in 电视 shows such as Sex and the City and Law & Order.
In the game world he is famish for being NIKO BELLIC. And was nominated several...
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#1:
Niko: (bangs into someone) Only in this country do they let blind people drive!


#2:
Niko: (sarcastically) God bless this city!


#3:
Niko: [when drunk and hailing a cab] Yellow car!


#4:
Vlad: Oh, that's funny. 你 know, for a damn yokel you're a very funny guy.
Niko: [laughing] Yes. And for an annoying dick, you're really an annoying dick.


#5:
Gracie: [as Niko kidnaps her] I'll scratch your fuckin' eyes out!
Niko: Scratch my fuckin' balls, bitch!


#6:
Niko: (car bangs into him) OPEN YOUR EYES!!


#7:
Niko: (points gun at citizen) What!? It's just a gun!


#8:
Niko: (shooting) COME ON! Test me! TEST...
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posted by Canada24
THE STORY OF DITTO:

Ditto: Chrysalis! Their still not cracking yet! Can I just beat it out of them already!?

Twilight: Why can't I move!?
Diito: (sadistically) Because Chrysalis felt that just a caged room wouldn't be enough for someone like you.. 你 'deserved' something 更多 special.. Don't 你 feel honored, love?
Twilight: 你 MONSTER!
Ditto: (takes this as compliment) Hawhaw. Thank you..

Ditto: Ya, that's right! Things are gonna be different for now on! No 更多 Celestia! and, no, more, you!

AB: Please let us go! We have family's!
Ditto: ......... Family... Oh yes.. Of COARSE 你 have a family!...
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#1:
"(singing) I just want to be with my fruit!"


#2:
Guy: What 你 doing with it anyway?
Christian: 你 know. It's probably one of those things 你 SHOULDN'T ask about.


#3:
Jimmy: Let's go do this (loads gun)
Christian: Wait, is that real gu- JIMMY!!


#4:
"That is the blackest thing I ever heard in my life!"


#5:
Jimmy: Oh shit. What do I do?
Christian: Blame it on your dad..


#6:
"look everything's chill.. We'll chill!"


#7:
"My night was differently tighter than yours!"


#8:
Jimmy: Why are 你 holding a camera?
Christian: I'm taping.
Jimmy: No your not. Your on FaceTime.
Christian: Look. Just let me have this.. I'm bored as fuck over here.


#9:
"(crying) yo, I'm like, gonna kill self!... I just watched that fashion show.. And I realized... I'm never gonna have a girl who's that sexy.. I mean.. How are they all so perfect!?"


#10:
"WOOOOOOOW!!"
#1: DUALITY:
I push my fingers into my...
EYYYYYES!!
It's the only thing! That slowly stops the ACHHHE!
But it's made of all! The things I have to TAAAKE!!
Jesus, it never ends!! it works it's way inSIDDDDE!
If the pain goes on!
I'M NOT GONNA MAKE IT!!



#2: SLUFUR:
Staaaaaay!!
you don't always know where 你 stand!
Till 你 know that 你 won't run awaaaay!
There's something inside me that feels!
Like breathing in sulfurrrrrrr!



#3: PSYCHOSOCIAL:
And the rain will kill us all!
Throw ourselves against the wall!
But no one else can see!
The preservation of the martyr in me!

PSYCHOSOCIAL!!
PSYCHOSOCIAL!!
PSYCHOSOCIAL!!...
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Dash: I'll explain... A thousand years ago, when Celestia banished Luna from Equestria and sent her to the moon, she was charged with three tasks. She originally was in charge of raising the sun, and showering the land with rainbows. But, with the moon being an additional task, she had to hand down the responsibility of rainbows. Celestia entrusted the Pegasi of Cloudsdale to make the rainbows for her from them on. For the first dozen years, we were 给 powerful 独角兽 to help create Spectra. Spectra is pure pigment, pure color. Everything is full of Spectra, but 你 can't just harvest...
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#1: SPIKE:
It's fair to say.
When I first became a brony. Spike was the one I liked.
Even though Twilight was always 'kinda' liked 由 me, she wasn't relatable till she became an Alicorn (take THAT alicorn haters).
Pinkie was no 更多 than an ear bleeding annoyance until BABY CAKES.
Dash was 'kinda' cool. But I thought she was boy till episode three, where Twilight confirmed it was a girl.
AppleJack reminded me too much of Alberta.
Rarity reminded me of all the girls that ever rejected me.
Fluttershy was 'okay' I guess.
Point being.
Spike was the only one I could relate to. We are both sarcastic about...
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Scootaloo: (brings over the crusaders) Check it out. I rebuild Connor's universe portal
AB: Ohh.. But that's what brought that Dragonowitiz creep.
Scootaloo: Relax. I brought it too a 'different' ponyville universe.
AB: Are 你 sure this is safe.
Scoot: Sure. What's the worst that's out there.. (turns it on)
(before long a bunch of bat heads fling out of the portal)
Scoot: What the hec-
Brutaloo: *reveals herself dramatically* ... Huh, so that portal 'dose' lead somewhere..
Scoot: Um... hi.
AB: Hey. 你 must be the Scootaloo of that universe.. Are 你 any similar to 'our' Scootaloo?.
Brutaloo: Depends.....
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FREDDY "TROLL" KRUEGER:

Dean: Your not real!
Freddy: I'm real NOW asshole!

Freddy: 嘿 Kris... (holds up Pinkie Pie) Look what I got!!
Kris: (awakes with a horrified scream).
(back in the dream).
Freddy: Haha.. New that would get her.
Pinkie: Why is she so scared of me?
Freddy: Don't know. Your actually kinda cute.
Pinkie: Really.. Because I-
Freddy: Annd, now I don't care (literary throws her aside).

Luna: (appears out of nowhere).
Freddy: What are 你 doing here! I told 你 to stop following me!!
Luna: I just thought that since we're both able to come into dreams, mayb-
Freddy: Let me ask 你 something......
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#5: HOTDIGGIDYDEMON:
I don't have much to say about this guy..
But he's awesome...











#4: ANGRY BRITISH GUY:
What's not to 爱情 about a british guy screaming at traffic and well.... Everything..


#3: LONELY ISLAND:
They became so 流行的 on SNL.
They have their own internet series.
And they probably began the "like a boss" meme..



#2: SMOSH:
I 爱情 these guys.
Don't even know why.. :)
But they became one of the highest paid youtobe stars. Annual Earnings: $6.7 million.
the Smosh channel has 更多 than 20 million subscribers and 4.6 billion video views.[4] The Smosh team has expanded to include others...
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#1: Packie McCreary:
Obviously I am NOT the only one who likes Packie.
He has his own character trailer, as dose Roman, and even Vlad.
Packie became so famish that he was brought back, in GTA 5.
Being used for heists.
These appearances are brief.
But at least we see him..

#2: Lamar Davis:
Franklyn's unstable friend, who is a bit less hypocritical than Franklyn, but also a bit less "sane".
He is always willing to pull the trigger, in fact, he probably enjoys it.
It's no question, he is known among fans..

#3: Roman Bellic:
Hate him 或者 爱情 him.
We all know him.
I for one like Roman because he's much 更多 "innocent" than most GTA characters.
Most people can relate to him..
#1: JASON BRODY:
Starting off as your average immature dare devil. But then Vaas kidnapped him and his brother Grant.. And during their escape Vaas coldly murders poor Grant and Jason is unable to save the poor guy. This being being one of them main reasons Jason tracks down and kills Vaas, though not too many sympathize the death of Vaas, despite how badass he is.
Not only that but Jason becomes a unstoppable force do to the harsh ways of the island destroying both his innocence, and even his sanity.
But Jason uses this, not for bad, but for the sole purpose of rescuing his 老友记 and family...
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posted by Canada24
Everybody who touched 或者 held the diamonds besides Niko, Luis, Tony, Jerry Kapowitz and GTA Online Protagonist have been killed. Ironically, Jerry Kapowitz was not involved with them in any way, and never even knew of their existence, but was eventually the one to have them for himself.

Sometime before the events of the Grand Theft Auto IV saga, The Cook had stolen the diamonds from 射线, 雷 Bulgarin. He then smuggles the diamonds 由 hiding them in cake batter, and brings them into Liberty City inside the Platypus, which is also bringing in Niko Bellic.

Eventually, Anthony "Gay Tony" Prince, his boyfriend...
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