Manly things

Another email.

WOMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFAST

She's sitting at the 表 with her gourmet coffee.
Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box.
Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.
Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl.
And her husband is on the back of the 牛奶 carton.




WOMEN'S REVENGE

"Cash, check 或者 charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet, I noticed a remote control for a 电视 set in her purse. "So, do 你 always carry your TV remote?" I asked. "No," she replied, "but my husband refused to come shopping with me, and I figured...

More emails...

Men Are Just Happier People

Your last name stays put. The 车库 is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. 浓情巧克力 is just another snack. 你 can be President. 你 can never be pregnant. 你 can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. 你 can wear NO 衬衫 to a water park. Car mechanics tell 你 the truth.

The world is your urinal. 你 never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. 你 don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, 更多 pay. Wrinkles add character.

Wedding dress - $5000. Tux rental...

From an 电子邮箱 I got.

Rules for Men

1) Any man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten 由 his fellow partygoers.

2) Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.

3) Unless he murdered someone in your family, 你 must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.

4) If you've known a guy for 更多 than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever, unless 你 actually marry her.

5) Complaining about the brand of free 啤酒 in a buddy's fridge is forbidden. Gripe at will if the temperature is unsuitable.

6) When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event,...

More lovely emails!! Guys, pay attention!

9 WORDS WOMEN USE

1. Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and 你 need to shut up.

2. Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five 分钟 is only five 分钟 if 你 have just been 给 five 更多 分钟 to watch the game before helping around the house.

3. Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and 你 should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

4. Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

5. Loud Sigh: This isn’t...

I didn't write this. I got it in an 电子邮箱 and it made me smile!!
Sorry guys, I just had to post it! :P


The Why's of Men

1. WHY DO MEN BECOME SMARTER DURING SEX?
(because they are plugged into a genius)

2. WHY DON'T WOMEN BLINK DURING SEX?
(they don't have enough time)

3. WHY DOES IT TAKE 1 MILLION SPERM TO FERTILIZE ONE EGG?
(they don't stop to ask directions)

4. WHY DO MEN SNORE WHEN THEY LIE ON THEIR BACKS?
(because their balls fall over their butt-hole and they vapor lock)

5. WHY WERE MEN 给 LARGER BRAINS THAN DOGS?
(so they won't hump women's legs at cocktails parties)

6. WHY DID GOD...