A little Arthur POV, between 4x08 and 4x09.



    Because I have faith in you.
    Guinevere’s voice drifts into my consciousness, a memory from years past. I open my eyes. It’s dark. The 城堡 is still. It must be very early yet. I roll onto my back.
    How much time did I waste thinking of her as just Morgana’s maid?
    It took being removed from Camelot, away from all that was familiar to me to see it. To see her.
    Because I have faith in you.
    Her voice comes back again, but no, that wasn’t it.
    Food is scarce for these people, 你 shouldn’t turn your nose up.
    That was it. Her gentle scold followed 由 her mortification at the words that she couldn’t stop. That’s what caught my attention. It’s funny now.
    She looked so cute in her tunic and trousers.
    She wasn’t frightened. She had insisted that the women fight as well.
    She could have been killed that day.
    I roll to my side, and squeeze my eyes shut. Fascinating. 更多 noble than many of the noble class.
    You are going to live to be the man I’ve seen inside you, Arthur.
    A faint memory, clouded 由 fever. Think, man. Try and remember. Her delicate touch, dabbing my brow.
    Her slight weight on the mattress 下一个 to me.
    Oh, to feel that again. And this time conscious so I can enjoy having her there.
    …keeps me going… …proud to call their sovereign…
    Bits and pieces of her voice, drifting through the fog of illness.
    You’re not going to die, Arthur.
    She willed me to live. I know it. More, there’s more. There has to be.
    My hand. She held my hand. Surely she did. I remember my hand between both of hers, warm and small and softer than I would have expected.
    Something else. She brought my hand to her lips.
    I look down and find my thumb is absently stroking the side of my index finger on the spot where her lips touched that night.
    So faithful, so humble. She wouldn’t be goaded when I regained consciousness.

    But that wasn’t truly it, either. Wasn’t truly what drew me to her.
    I roll to my left side, and her voice comes to me again, soft and rough at once, like crushed velvet.
    Would it kill 你 to say please and thank 你 once in a while?
    There it is.
    She yelled at me. Truly yelled at me. I was struggling with my identity, my worth as a person rather than just a prince, and she hollered at me like I was a spoiled child.
    I was.
    It was the best thing she could have done for me.
    I close my eyes again, picturing her that day, burned into my memory. Her brown eyes flaming, her nostrils flared, the words that stabbed me coming from those… lips of hers.
    I was looking for worth as a person, and she gave it to me 由 knocking me down. And she was exactly right to do so.
    I don’t snore.
    Do I?
    A good king should respect his people, no matter who they are!
    She had drawn her bow with that remark, and the look she gave me after I admitted I cared for her shot the 《绿箭侠》 right into my heart.
    Why didn’t I 吻乐队（Kiss） her then?
    Merlin. Right.
    What I wouldn’t give for another opportunity to stay at her house. This time it would be different. We could be a man and a woman, not a prince and a servant.
    I close my eyes and can see us in her little house, cozy, enjoying a meal, sharing intimate conversation. Then I would 包, 换行 her in my arms and hold her to me, drop a 吻乐队（Kiss） on her lips, then perhaps…
    No. No. Don’t even think about that 或者 you’ll end up in a world of frustration, man.
    I reach under my 枕头 and withdraw her handkerchief, the one she gave me the last 日 of the tournament. It still carries some of her scent. Perhaps. I can no longer tell if it is truly there 或者 if I just know it so well that my brain just puts it there when I hold it to my face.
    It had been an impulse, 接吻 her. Yet after I’d done it, I knew I was lost. It was like waking from a long sleep. 或者 the first sunny morning after a week of rain. The world looked different, brighter, better. Better because she was in it and I had finally learned to notice.
    I had immediately wanted to 吻乐队（Kiss） her again.
    Perhaps, when 你 are king, things will be different.
    Darn right they will.
    I roll onto my back again, staring at the ceiling above.
    You have a kind heart, Arthur. Don’t ever change. Not for anyone.
    I had always thought that my father had been preparing me to be king. Ha. Father could have taken lessons from Guinevere.
    Live for me, Arthur. That’s all I ask right now.
    It was like a fog was lifted from my eyes, suddenly realizing she was 接吻 me. Guinevere. My Guinevere. I was myself again, with my 爱情 in my arms.
    She saved my life that day, in 更多 ways than one. Even if I had managed to defeat Olaf, I would have gotten Vivian as my prize. I would hardly call that a victory.
    And I got to 吻乐队（Kiss） her again. And hold her in my arms this time. I sigh, letting the memory float across my vision.

    I trust you, Arthur. 更多 than Uther, 更多 than any man. Worry is not a wise counsel.
    Her hand on my arm. Steadfast, wise, Guinevere. Withdrew before I could 吻乐队（Kiss） her that night. Proper, obedient Guinevere. Then she called me “Sire” and it felt like a dagger in my heart.
    I squeeze my eyes closed again and think of her soft brown eyes meeting mine across the room, sometimes furtively, sometimes directly, always making my 心 beat faster.
    It did feel very good when she scratched me behind the ear. Even though it was a donkey ear.
    I will watch 你 grow into the king Camelot deserves.
    What was I expecting her to say? That she would cause a big scene and ruin the wedding? She would never do that. That she would leave Camelot? She may as well cut my 心 out. That she would stay and be my mistress?
    Well…
    …
    No. I couldn’t have had that. I would have ended up hating myself. She is worth far 更多 to me than that.
    I roll to my right side again, curling into a ball, squeezing my knees to my chest.
    It’s what 你 do when 你 爱情 someone.
    Sure, the words were talking about her brother, but her eyes… her eyes were talking directly to me.
    She was worried and upset. I should have gathered her to me, taken her in my arms and comforted her. But then Merlin and Morgana really would have interrupted something…
    You might be a prince, but I don’t always have to do what 你 tell me to.
    Indeed, my lady. You’ve been ruling me for years, in fact.
    I like that, 你 being yourself.
    I 爱情 that I can be with myself with her. She’s the only one I can do that with.
    I need to take her on another picnic. One where we won’t be disturbed. 由 anyone. She was so beautiful that day. She is always beautiful.
    I cannot believe I didn’t see it sooner.
    I cannot believe that she almost died because of me. Again.
    If I ever see that old sorcerer again, I will have to ask him why. Why… why everything.
    I will count the days until then.
    You can stop counting soon, my love. I promised you. So steadfast.
    I saw the king you’ll become.
    My eyes open again as I remember her during that time. They way she appeared unexpectedly with Leon. The way she allowed me to 座位 her at my side at the round table. The way she stood 由 me.
    You know the answer.
    She would have joined in the fight had I let her. Can’t fight worth a damn, but she is a determined little thing.
    I smile, thinking of that kiss. That kiss. That kiss.
    I truly didn’t care if the men saw. If I’m being honest, I hope that Lancelot did see. And she knew. She knew what I wanted to do when all I did was say her name.
    She can see right into my mind.

    You are precious, not just the kingdom.
    She can see right into my mind. I needed her smile that day. I was marching to my death, and all I wanted was her smile.
     Don’t let anyone tell 你 what to do. 你 说 你 were your own man. 你 have a good heart. Be true to it. Only then will 你 be the king 你 want to be.
    I squeeze myself into a tighter ball, regret washing over me.
    I had promised her, and I broke that promise, along with her heart. Yes, briefly. But I still did it. I will carry that regret, that guilt, that shame with me always. I am thankful every 日 that she forgave me so easily. I didn’t deserve her mercy.
    But she knew. She knew I wasn’t myself; that those weren’t my words.
    Perhaps my uncle’s 建议 should not always be followed so unquestioningly.
    Whatever façade I put forth, she sees right through it. Whatever walls I build, she knocks down.
    God, I 爱情 her.
    Arthur!
    My eyes fly open at the memory of her unexpected appearance that 日 at my bath.
    She and Gaius, standing there, Merlin nowhere to be found, telling me not to step in the tub. She is a puzzle sometimes.
    How much did she see?
    Did she like what she saw?
    I wonder… if Gaius hadn’t been there…
    Stop it.
    I uncurl and roll onto my back with a sigh. Maybe after we are married…
    Married. Is now the time to ask?
    Well, maybe 你 just didn’t notice before.
    Another sigh escapes my lips as I stare at the ceiling. I close my eyes and can picture her face perfectly. Every detail is etched into my memory, down to the last curl and freckle.
    You are a fearless hero, Guinevere. Far stronger, far braver than I, since 你 have had many 更多 obstacles in your life.
    I don’t deserve her. She is too good for me.
    Yet I must have her. I need her. I cannot be king without her. I know this as well as I know my own name. Without her I am an empty shell.
    I grab a 枕头 and place it over my face. Yes. I must ask for her hand. I need her to be my wife.
    I hear the door open, followed 由 Merlin’s soft footfall. He thinks I am asleep.
    I watch as he opens the curtains, and before he can burst forth with his familiar, “Rise and shine,” I speak.
    “Merlin. I need your help with something.”