I’ll keep this a little vague because I don’t want to have to get into the details right now....
Recently, I had a pretty severe mental crisis. It was realllyyyy terrible. To cut it very short, (this mainly happened over a period of 5 days, including days I should have been taking End-Of-Courses)
Somethings happened which led to a major panic attack/ flashback, my reaction instincts kicked in and I basically 迷失 control (and sprinted out of the house and ran and hid up a 树 for 4 hrs in the freezing cold, windy night, trying to ge5 ahold of myself) police got involved, I had my first ride in a sheriffs car and first time in an ambulance, dissociated a lot, legit l o s t m y m i n d, got hysterical, cried 更多 than I ever had in my fucking life up till that point (they labeled me as a “suicidal subject” and my best friend had come out to help find me and the last she saw of me was a shaking, sobbing figure face down in the woods with a bloody face and a police man standing over me. I can’t imagine what she felt.)
the6 were going to detain me. Mental hospital. And I don’t know if I’ve mentioned this before but for me... I’d rather die. I will NOT go there. And I didn’t because i “practically refused” and instead answered a shit ton of 问题 numbly and was driven 首页 and sedated. ( And later there apparently I spent hours crying “I’m so sorry” and whispering the name of my close friend into nothing and rocking back and forth but I don’t remember any of that) And therss a lot 更多 to this part of the story too.
I didn’t regain control the 下一个 few days. I was extremely unstable. Seriously. I ended up 写作 to my mum and getting her to call the center in our area because I was in severe condition and I wasn’t feeling safe. (+ I have nothing metal 或者 sharp in my room, no lock, and wasn’t alon3 for 3 days 或者 nights straight) We had to try and cover because my 3 brothers (+ the school) weren’t told anything. (I was “sick”) They went to a trampoline place for some “fun” while my parents had things sorted out.
I went into a place for assessment and hAtEd it in there. I have to get therapy (bullshit) and see a psychiatrist (ugh) soon.
To 包, 换行 up the last major bit of the story, and most important bit, I’d say, I saw a lady with my mum (she felt weirdly comfortable to b3 around ev3n at first) and we talked for a bit. Loooong story, but sh3 diagnosed me with BPD and confirmed my research (I’d thought the same. I’ve done TONS of research) + threw my mum into shock.
Also 说 some other things less important. And well... for my mum’s peace of mind, i will also be having a full examination with all these tests and scans and shit at some point. Fair enough, knowing what she’s like I need to do that for her at least. Yeah. I’m BPD. No surprise. I’m pretty comfortable with that diagnosis.
(Oh...And an asshole that used to be a friend pretty much initiated some of this shit. It would hurt 更多 if I didn’t honestly already know that she’s just a MAJORLY selfish, pity-seeking, thoroughly self centered (ect) completely dickheaded cunt. Like I needed betrayal to 最佳, 返回页首 off this whole tReAt.)
So I’ve recovered from the incident a little I’d say. I think I’ve got my control back and I’m allowed to be in my room 由 myself and go to school. I struggled to think for a while. I hadn’t had any natural, good sleep in a while. (I’ve been having to take sleep drugs) I’ve basically got back “to normal” though my parents know a ton 更多 than 8 ever wo7ld have wanted. ‘Yes sir, your child has a serious mental condition, has suicidal and self-harming issues, and it is advised that 你 have a tracker put on her’ was the gist of what my dad heard.
I WAS doing fuck8ng amazing recovering 由 myself and had almost fixed all I could BEFORE this damn thing started. (I even started to get out of expecting everything to fall apart when I actually started to do well. And. It fell apart after all.) I’m still detached from stuff at the moment honestly.
Yeah. It’s been hell for a little bit, but I’m trying my best to keep it together and get back to “normal”. I think I’m doing alright now actually.
Yeah. That’s all..